Woman at the Well

Some folks posted this video on YouTube, so I snatched it up and looked up the words. I'll post the words, then a link to the video. As I said on my FB page, I did dramatic interp in high school, but was never smart enough to do something like this....

To Be Loved, Is To Be Known written by Chris Kinsley and Drew Francis

Woman at the Well
I am a woman of no distinction, of little importance.
I am a woman of no reputation save that which is bad.
You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances, though you don’t really take the time to look at me.
Or even get to know me.
For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.
And otherwise what’s the point of doing either one of them in the first place.
I want to be known, I want someone to look at my face and not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears, but to see all that I am and could be; all my hopes, loves, and fears. That’s too much to hope for, to wish for, or pray for so I don’t, not anymore.
Now I keep to myself and by that I mean the pain that keeps me in my own private jail, the pain that has brought me here at midday, to this well.
To ask for a drink is no big request, but to ask it of me, a woman unclean, ashamed, used and abused, an outcast a failure, a disappointment, a sinner.
No drink passing from these hands to your lips could ever be refreshing, only condemning, as I’m sure you condemn me now, but you don’t.
You’re a man of no distinction, though of the utmost importance, a man with little reputation, at least so far.
You whisper and tell me to my face what all those glances have been about and you take the time to really look at me.
But don’t need to get to know me.
For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known
And you know me, you actually know me.
All of me and everything about me.
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head.
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread.
My past and my future, all I am and could be, you tell me everything.
You tell me about me.
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation, coming from you brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation.
I’ve heard of one to come who would save a wretch like me, and here in my presence, you say I am he.
To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.
And I just met you but I love you.
I don’t know you, but I want to get to.
Let me run back to town, this is way too much for just me.
There are others; brothers, sister, lovers, haters, the good and the bad, sinner and saints who should hear what you’ve told me who should see what you’ve shown me, who should taste what you gave me who should feel how you forgave me.
For to be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.
And they all need this too, we all do, need it for our own


And here's the video:

More Weird Dreams

Last night, I had a dream that this old man wanted to talk to me about a young lady's job (that may not be so much of a dream as an apprehension). I also had a dream about a little kid uncontrollably urinating at the table, and me not realizing it until I tasted my food, which he'd hit.

I had another dream, something that involved sets of three, but I can't remember it now. When I dreamt it, I remember thinking that I should write it down or something because it was important. Then I thought it was so vivid there was no way I could forget it. But I didn't write it down and now, of course, I've forgotten it.....

The Post-Modern God

Last night, the prof was talking about our different standards of evaluating things. With the dawn of the enlightenment era, we (as Western human beings) embraced the scientific method: we wanted the most modern technological advances, we believe God to be a Lawyer in the Courtroom, but we will pay top dollar to someone who has the academic credentials of lawyer. Likewise, we believe God to be a Doctor in the Sickroom, but we won't stop paying our health insurance. Sure, we will pray, but that's often after the doctors have given up on us. Not in all cases, but in some.

And that's the root of my question. How DO we embrace God -- how DOES God live in our measured world? For me, I happen to believe that God is in the mix even in our scientific measurements -- that God is behind those systems that have been set up. Humans have not created the scientific method, we've only stumbled upon the consistency that is God. So when I'm having surgery, for instance, I will pray that God will guide the hands of the surgeons and the anesthesiologists and so on -- yes, they do their scientific thing, but it's inside of God's divine will. They are instruments of God's will -- necessary agents to achieve God's divine purpose.

Anyway. Those are my thoughts right now. Gotta get to work. Busy planning my trip to Costa Rica in May. I plan to do a canopy tour, perhaps to go to Tortuguero, perhaps to go to Puerto Viejo, or Bocas del Toro in Panama to see dolphins and do snorkeling. We'll see. Should be fun.

Discernment

It occurs to me that, in this era of instant communications, we human beings have completely lost our capacity for discernment. I'm not just talking about spiritual discernment, which sort of implies moral discernment or the imposition of some sort of value system upon things (because God knows, we in America are just too politically correct to believe in absolute values or to judge anything. And we Christians incorrectly think that only God will judge, so we should sit by passively and accept any and everything that comes our way). But I digress. I don't feel good, I missed my workout last night, and I'm eating sugar and carbs for breakfast. Which pretty much means the whole day is going to be a waste, but it's an explanation as to why I've digressed.

Getting back to the point: We have no discernment. Today's very opinionated rant will concern Charlie Sheen and email. Let's tackle email first, since it's the easiest. Now, I have 6 or 7 email addresses. I've created them in an attempt to have my inbox not swamped with junk mail, and to be able to quickly get to the emails I need to read. Unfortunately, I'm a slave to technology and have used an aggregator to have all my email accounts appear in one inbox (can we say "lack of discernment?" Or maybe just "stupidity?"). So the emails from my two classes appear alongside my friends' jokes, all intermingled with interminable offers from every website I've ever visited, let alone those places from which I've actually bought things....

I was going to go on a rant about our lack of discernment in sending emails, but as I'm cleaning them out, I'm realizing that it's not people who are actually doing the sending, it's bots -- computerized programs that pick up email addresses and add them to mailing lists, based on predetermined criteria. May there be a special place in Hell reserved for the minds who created them....

Now on to Charlie Sheen. My favorite 2 and a half men actor has had a very public struggle, apparently with bipolar disorder, resulting in a public meltdown, very vocal attacks on his former employers, and his subsequent release from his employment with CBS. In the midst of his meltdown, Charlie raised his per-episosode salary demand by a million dollars an episode. he said "Mark my words. They'll come back." Or something to that effect.

So imagine my surprise this morning when I heard on the news that CBS is actually considering taking him back. Discernment. They released him saying he was dangerous and too unstable to work; now they're going to take him back?!?!? He may be clean and sober, but he's had no treatment, and if you look at him or listen to him, you can clearly see he's a madman. I wonder if they are really that beholden to the dollar, or if they think the only way they can get out of his threatened lawsuit against them is to rehire him and have him melt down publicly? Either way, I think the decision to rehire him is ill-advised.

And I think that we, the American public, need to go on a fast from TV. If this is the sort of actions, attitudes, and behaviors that we condone and promote by watching TV, is TV-watching really something we want to do?

OK, I'm through for the moment....

WOW.

So last night I had the weirdest dreams. I don't often remember my dreams, as I have severe sleep issues. As is often the case, it doesn't appear that I enter into REM sleep until early in the morning, just before dawn. I believe this dream occurred after I woke up at 5:22, but before I arose around 8.

So there was this army of anteaters facing me. They were about to overtake me, but I stood against them and they, as a group, stopped. I was with someone or something else and we were united in our opposition to the anteaters. Then somehow one of them approached me and in the next scene it was on my back. I was climbing stairs, and it was holding on to me. I remember moving gently so it would neither be harmed nor harm me. When I reached the top of the stairs, I bent over so it could crawl off my back.

I turned around and a baby cougar or some kind of cat (it was black) had hold of my foot. It sunk its teeth into my shoe but I couldn't shake it loose. It was a baby, and I didn't want to crush it, but it clearly thought it was ferocious and I just couldn't shake it.

And then I woke up.

So I've finished my first supervision and instead of going out to take a walk, I remember the dreams. I look up anteaters on the itnernet, and this dream dictionary tells me that anteaters are connected to business relationships, and that they signify celebration of completeness or wholeness. It says a dream about them may also mean that I have entered into a difficult situation or business arrangement (what an understatement!), and that it is important to harness my energies. It sort of indicates that, because there were no negative changes or feelings, that positive changes are afoot. OTOH, it also indicates that there is a situation in my current life where I'm unable to grasp a solution to the problem, and that I'm trying to fight a troublesome person or a difficult problem.

As I was reading the dream stuff, I opened a letter from the Feds demanding reparyment of $334,750.00 that was apparently stolen by the administration prior to mine.

Hmm... So then I read another site about cats. It says that "To see a cat in your dream, symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck. The dream symbol has different significance depending on whether you are a cat lover or not. The cat could indicate that someone is being deceitful or treacherous toward you. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself.. ..." It goes on to say that: "To dream that a cat is biting you, symbolizes the devouring female. Perhaps you are taking and taking without giving. You may be expressing some fear or frustration especially when something is not going as planned. ... To see a black cat in your dream, indicates that you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition. ... In particular, if the black cat is biting, clawing or attacking you, then the dream means that you must acknowledge what your intuition is trying to tell you. You can no longer ignore it. Do not be afraid to face the situation."

So. I'm in the midst of a hellacious situation, but am resolved that I can hold on and it WILL get better....

Really gotta get out of this office for a minute.

Norms; Universality

We Americans have often, if not always, thought of equality as normative. It's a way of thinking that largely developed as part of, or alongside, our western-euro-Christo-centric worldview.

Tonight in our Church History class, the professor introduced the A Common Word initiative, and their 2007 Open Letter to Pope Benedict. The letter, from 38 Muslim scholars, is addressed to, the Roman Pope, then the Popes/Patriarchs/Metropolitans of Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch, Jerusalem, Armenia and Eastern Europe, then the Archbishop of Canterbury, the leaders of the Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Reformed Churches, the General Secretary of the World Council of Churches, and leaders of Christian Churches everywhere. It was separated by: the Pope, then the Eastern Orthodox; then the non-Chalcedonian, "Oriental" Orthodox; then the Asssyrian Church of the East; then Archbishop of Canterbury, the Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Reformed traditions, and all the rest. (I think it was interesting that they included the Methodists and Baptists, since they, like the rest of Protestantism, properly come out of the Reformed traditions.)

Our students noted the lack of representation of women, which is what started me on this rant. We in the US, especially in NYC, live in quite an insular world. We have these ideas about freedom and equality, and because we think ours is a more excellent way, we've decided this is the right way for the whole world to live.

News flash: The rest of the world doesn't necessarily live by our norms. In much of the world, women have no voice -- or at least, not an equal voice. We like to think about all people being inherently equal, but other traidtions and cultures emphasize the concept of role or place. When we superimpose our western worldview onto other cultures, then perhaps we come away thinking that they devalue women; my experience has been that, while the role of women may be different in different places, it's not necessarily lesser. I'm reminded of my late mother and her husband. I used to question her about why she always cooked the meals, since he was a cook by trade and was often unemployed. I wanted to know why she had to work all day and them come home and cook for him. She let me know that they had an agreement: she cooked, (which she happened to enjoy), while he had to do the dishes (which she didn't enjoy -- something about her manicures).

If all people were created equal, then men could carry children. There are innate differences between the genders, and equalizing genders has not been normalized everywhere to the extent it has been in urban American society.

Something I noticed about the letter was that it was signed by people from everywhere except Australia and Greenland. While it is true that Christianity has spread quickly and rapidly (check out the link; it's a graphic representation of the growth of world religions), it is also true that in the 20th century, Islam made some incredible headway. I don't have accurate statistics; it seems the data varies depending on whether a Christian or a Muslim researcher collected it. But we Christians don't have a monopoly on religion or truth or proselytizing, and even if there are a couple billion of us on the planet, there are about a billion Muslims. We're not exactly setting high standards, and we might want to give some thought to acknowledging that people we've considered "other" aren't so "other" after all.

It's sort of like the situation in which white Americans find themselves: all of a sudden, they're not the dominant group. They may have larger numbers, but the formerly concentrated power base has been diluted.

Anyway. Today on the way to class I was thinking about atheists. It occurs to me that I regard atheists the same way I regard anyone who's lacking in cognitive or sensory faculties. It's like they have either a resistance to or an inability to acknowledge The Divine. They say we're hardwired to believe in a power greater than ourselves. Duh... maybe there's a reason for that, like there was a reason for all the other things for which we were hardwired? And if there were no God, if we humans have really outgrown our hardwired need for God, then how is it that religions have hung around all this time?

I think religious beliefs are fairly normative, fairly universal. Where we humans fall down is that we tend to deify our religious practices, rituals,and beliefs rather than taking a collective look at ourselves, our religions' norms, and the universal truths to which they point us.

Anyway. Those are my thoughts for today. I have to start writing again.

Trans

In today's society, where traditional sexual identity roles have blurred a bit, I find it harder and harder to tell if people are male or female. This is not something I say lightly, since for much of my life people have had the same issues with me. At best I'm stocky and muscular, at worst a roundish, asexual blob, I have a deep alto or tenor voice, depending on what's going on (I'm a contralto voice, but can sing as low as baritone, which I've practiced since there is often a lack of men in the choir), and I am fond of my New England preppie school days, which means you can often find me in button-down Oxford shirts and khakis. Even when I put on skirts, I'm not a real girly-girl. As a kid, I liked playing cowboys and Indians, climbing trees as well as having tea parties and playing with my Barbies. I never felt the urge to marry, settle down, or have kids. There's a lot about my nature, appearance, and manner that could be considered "macho," which I've always taken as a compliment. Call me butch and I'll either punch you or just have my feelings hurt, but yeah, I'm a little macho.

So it may be a bit hypocritical of me to say that transsexuals have always evoked a visceral response from me. I've always thought, "but it's not right. You can't change your gender. Those people have issues."

And it may be true that transexuals or transgendered people have issues. It may be that their issue is sexual in nature. The root "trans" means "beyond" or "across," and perhaps transsexuals have moved beyond our traditional definitions of sex and sexuality. It occurs to me that once people move beyond the roles of sex and sexuality, which are limitations imposed by a physical body, that they can also move beyond the realm of the physical and more towards the realm of the spiritual.

I started this conversation in my head when I was thinking about my affiliation with my church. Born and bred in the CME tradition, I'm pretty sure I'm through with the African American church tradition. I'm not through with Jesus, mind you -- I just need to move beyond the box the Church puts Jesus into and move closer to Him, through deeper and more complete exploration into and contemplation of God's Word, as revealed in the Holy Scriptures and as revealed in the life of Jesus Christ. If we believe that the Word is alive and active, then we must be willing for more to be revealed to us. I don't believe the African American church tradition is ready for more revelation. I believe our interest is in continuing business as usual. We don't have money left for ministry after we've finished paying it all to the travel agents, hotels, and restaurants involved in our never-ending stream of meetings. And it's not like there's ever any progress made at these meetings -- it's not like there's any change. Our church has simply become a false idol, existing to give lip service to God, but not being able to Worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

Just as transsexuals have moved beyond traditional definitions of sexuality, so must our church move beyond traditional definitions of religiousity. We have to move closer to God and move beyond this rut we're in.....

Oh, Lord, Our Lord..

How Excellent Is Thy Name, In All The Earth!

Today, Japan was rocked by an earthquake measuring 8.8 or 8.9 on the Richter scale. This in turn triggered a Tsunami that slammed Japan's Eastern coast and may hit Hawaii and California. The middle East is going through growing pains with protests successfully toppling regimes in Tunisia and Egypt, and ferment prewing in Libya, Saudi Arabia, Yemen -- that I can think of. The Dalai Lama is about to relinquish responsibilities as the head of Tibet's exiled government -- oh, and China and Iran are simply cutting off access to the internet as ways to repress uprisings --

Yet in the midst of all the turmoil and upheaval in the world, I still see fit to say, Oh Lord, Our Lord, How Excellent is Thy Name in ALL the Earth! Why? We have to remember that God does not CAUSE natural disasters; God does not CAUSE oppressive dictators; God does not CAUSE distress and discord. While I do believe in a God who controls every aspect of His creation, I also believe that God allows for natural adjustments.

I'm not saying there's anything that needed to be adjusted with the people of Japan! No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that God is not a good luck charm, God is not magic, God does not generally operate in a way that is outside of or inconsistent with God's natural laws (which are the laws of nature). The earth is not a perfect globe, but rather a bunch of big plates that move together. Sometimes those plates don't fit together perfectly, and there will be a strain, or a break. That break causes shaking, or quaking as it happens. The faults that we see after the earthquakes are not the result of them, but actually the CAUSE of them.

So there was a big tear under the sea and it hit Japan. Things happen -- again, I'm not finding any fault, but I am saying that earthquakes and tsunamis represent another opportunity for we humans to replenish, subdue, and have dominion over the earth, rather than to deplete, overrun, and be at the effect of the Earth. We have an opportunity to live in harmony with nature and to learn from the Earth.

In so doing, I believe, we also have the opportunity to live in harmony with and learn from Oh, Lord, Our Lord, whose Name is Excellent in all the Earth.

Heaven

so my friend Nick died, which led me to thinking all sorts of things: he was Catholic and Jewish -- did he believe in heaven? will i see him there?

he had a lower bodyweight, which had me thinking about the bodies in heaven. even if we're in spiritual bodies and not physical bodies, i don't think those spiritual bodies will be perfect. i think the only thing perfect in God's heaven will be God's love. i don't think any created thing, even any thing created by God, is perfect (therefore, either Jesus is God or jesus has imperfections, a difficult concept for me...)

but that's just me...

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