It's been quite a while since I've written. The idea was to write something, anything, every day, simply to stay in the habit (and prayerfully to resurrect the art) of writing. Instead of resurrection, I find myself having nearly succumbed to the culture of instant gratification.
While I still manage to exercise my body and spirit daily (well, almost daily for the bod -- I work out 5 days a week), the mind is simply not being nurtured. I had to write staff performance reviews in June. I completed them in July. I don't write my blog any more. Not only do I watch TV, I now have one in the den AND in the bedroom, something I once refused to do. More and more, it seems that life has devolved into a pseudo-frenzy of text messages, harried emails, and relentless, but hardly necessary, half-communications.
This may be a particularly sore point for me because I just paid my mortgage twice. It was completely my mistake -- I pay it online, wasn't paying attention, and in the space to enter "Amount of Additional Principle," I entered the mortgage amount. Because I wasn't paying attention, I clicked ok, and only upon confirmation realized my account had been debited for twice the amount of my mortgage.
So I called the mortgage company. They couldn't do anything, they said, because it was an internet payment. I should call my bank. My bank (with whom I am a Platinum customer, do millions of dollars of business a year and am responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars on deposit on any given day) claimed they could do nothing. I told them that half of it was an unauthorized charge. No response. An hour and three phone conversations later, the conversation was the same. I emailed them, but my bank, unlike my mortgage company, has yet to respond...
And then I realized that, while making a double mortgage payment was inconvenient, and not consistent with the kind of debt I resolved to carry, it wasn't going to bankrupt me. It's annoying, and I will likely have to spend more time on the phone with my charming bank getting them to waive the overage charges that will likely start to accrue today, but what an incredible blessing it is to be able to make a mistake with the mortgage and still be able to live one's life relatively free of disruption.
So that's good, and I'm grateful. And I'll be more careful before making any more online payments. And I should probably cancel my Netflix subscription because I haven't used it in over a year.
I often fancy myself a thinker, and look to my friends Leslie Callahan and Morton Guyton, thinking "I used to have thoughts like that.." And I may still be capable, but reflection --- Spirit-filled, purposeful, prophetic reflection and proclamation -- require discipline, dedication, and devotion. Lately I've been devoted to our nonprofit, to raising the level of staff development and consequently enhancing the quality of our service delivery, thereby positioning us to grow and offer even more services. That's been my excuse.
What I need to remember is that all leadership requires discipline, dedication, and devotion. It may be time for me to stop getting caught up in the press of everyday matters and to begin to take a higher-level look at things.
I'm going to do a staff training on perspective. Maybe I'll start with adjusting my own.
Or maybe I'll get to writing again......
