So yesterday I went out and bought a little hp printer. It was on sale for about $50.00 at microcenter. A printer with the ability to scan to pdf would make my working from home a lot easier, I'd told my staff; I was looking through the microcenter catalog, saw one, and thought I'd go have a look at it. Of course, I saw what looked to be a better deal when I was in the store, so I spent like an hour grilling the guy, and then decided to buy it.
Got it home and realized that it was woefully inadequate. Actually, it probably would have been fine, but it was a single sheet flatbed scanner and I wanted an automatic document feeder. So I returned it to Microcenter and got another one. I have to give them a shout out. Even though I'd installed the starter ink cartridges, they took the return and gave me full credit for it. I ended up with an Officejet Pro 8600. It's a bit bigger and sturdier, and has a 35 page auto document scanner (although I have discovered. there is no manual feed option for envelopes, which means that if I want to print one envelope I have to take the paper out, realign the spacers to fit the envelope, and put in at least two envelopes, since it won't print with only one.). That scanner has gotten mixed reviews, but I'm expecting it to meet my needs. The printer is a duplexer, as well; not sure if it makes two sided copies or only prints on two sides, but the two sided printing will be nice.
It's all set up: it scans, it faxes, it copies, I have yet to put a network cable into it and it still scans to my laptop; it has its own email address so I can send jobs to the printer by emailing them to it; all in all, it's pretty neat. The ADF seems to work ok, though a bit slowly; I haven't tried the duplexing yet. I can't imagine that it will live up to the ppm specs I thought I saw on it (something like 18-20 bw, and a little less for color). It seems considerably slower than that. Even though it's an HP, and we all know that HP makes its money not in printer sales but in toner and ink sales. I bought the XL cartridges for it because Microcenter didn't have their store brand in stock, and because xl cartridges are supposed to last longer (I looked at a cheaper, similarly functioning printer, but it cost about $50.00 less, but the cartridges gave me about half the output of these while costing 2/3 as much as these.). All that to say that the ink cartridges cost nearly as much as the printer did.
But the joy and convenience of being able to sit on my living room floor and copy pics for my cousin, then print, sign and scan documents for the office -- that's priceless! I now have a mobile office in my living room (because there's a tv in the den, and I'd never get anything done). It's about time for a home makeover, though. I have hundreds of cds, but am dismantling the cd/cassette player/stereo thingie, and I have knickknacks from all over the world. It's lovely, but do I really need stone birds, wooden animals, stone fish, pyramids, oxcarts, wooden and glass glass hearts, African masks and walking sticks, olivewood statues, Alaskan totems, Taj Mahal miniatures, an uncured shofar, and Tiffany clocks all in my living room? As I look around, they are certainly reminders of a life well lived, but they're like everywhere. And while everything I have is something I brought back from a country I visited (except for the Taj Mahal. Someone brought that back for me), I could probably get many of these items here in NYC. My house looks like a flea market, and like I have a bit of a fetish for birds.
My plant is dying. The last time my plant died (Fred, may he rest in peace), I was diagnosed with breast I've had my little plant since it was in a 7" pot; I can now not find a pot big enough for it. So it needs a little tlc.
Which I hope to be able to give it if I'm working more from home, which I should be able to do now with my office phone and printer all here in my living room.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Veggie Feijoada
Had an am class with Cardio Lady. Great energizing class. Ended up doing my version of a veggie feijoada. Seasoned the pot with EVOO, garlic, red onions and tricolor peppers. Cooked the beans with cracked black pepper, salt, some chipotle chili powder, and some "west African" pepper that's maybe a tad more intense than cayenne. Used seitan instead of pork and chipotle-flavored field sausages instead of meat sausages. Pretended the quinoa was farofa.
The heat of the west african pepper ran under the smokiness of the chipotle, the beans and quinoa gave it a solid middle, and the garlic, peppers and onions were like the tinkling high notes. Maybe that's why I'm dancing around the house like a fool.
It was kinda good, though....
Again, I'm noticing that I use the kitchen more and so have to clean it more. And while the food costs a bit more initially, I only used half the beans I bought, and I have at least enough feijoada to last all week. As a matter of fact, I put it into two large containers, one of which I'll think about freezing tomorrow. Not sure how seitan and veggie sausages will hold up to being frozen and reheated.
Wonder why I never knew about almond milk before? My Bishop and his wife were discussing it when we were somewhere -- she was talking about soy milk and he was talking about almond milk. Almond milk is amazing! Silk makes one which I haven't yet tried, but Blue Diamond (the almond people) make an unsweetened almond coconut milk that is to die for! It is simply divine!
So I still gotta sauté my collard greens, but the feijoada had me so full I forgot about them. But either tomorrow or Monday I'll sauté my greens and make a salad for a coupla days.
Attempting to eat clean and vegan is an adventure, but is SO worth it to me. I started out talking about Cardio Lady. I used to think her classes were too much -- too much extra activity, too loud, too hard -- and at 8 am on a Saturday morning, DEFINITELY too early. She subbed for our regular 9 am teacher today. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy her class, but I'm thinking it might be worth getting up early for, and making Saturday a double water day. If I do that and do Bosu Ball before Kettle bells on Friday, that will make seven classes in five days.
Can't even believe I'm saying that. Lord help me if I start to take the creatine....
it's been a great day, though. Very productive.
The heat of the west african pepper ran under the smokiness of the chipotle, the beans and quinoa gave it a solid middle, and the garlic, peppers and onions were like the tinkling high notes. Maybe that's why I'm dancing around the house like a fool.
It was kinda good, though....
Again, I'm noticing that I use the kitchen more and so have to clean it more. And while the food costs a bit more initially, I only used half the beans I bought, and I have at least enough feijoada to last all week. As a matter of fact, I put it into two large containers, one of which I'll think about freezing tomorrow. Not sure how seitan and veggie sausages will hold up to being frozen and reheated.
Wonder why I never knew about almond milk before? My Bishop and his wife were discussing it when we were somewhere -- she was talking about soy milk and he was talking about almond milk. Almond milk is amazing! Silk makes one which I haven't yet tried, but Blue Diamond (the almond people) make an unsweetened almond coconut milk that is to die for! It is simply divine!
So I still gotta sauté my collard greens, but the feijoada had me so full I forgot about them. But either tomorrow or Monday I'll sauté my greens and make a salad for a coupla days.
Attempting to eat clean and vegan is an adventure, but is SO worth it to me. I started out talking about Cardio Lady. I used to think her classes were too much -- too much extra activity, too loud, too hard -- and at 8 am on a Saturday morning, DEFINITELY too early. She subbed for our regular 9 am teacher today. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy her class, but I'm thinking it might be worth getting up early for, and making Saturday a double water day. If I do that and do Bosu Ball before Kettle bells on Friday, that will make seven classes in five days.
Can't even believe I'm saying that. Lord help me if I start to take the creatine....
it's been a great day, though. Very productive.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Adventures in Eating
I just wrote this as a FB post and it disappeared, plus it's a bit long.
Bought some collards tonite. Before Lent, I went on a bit of a baking spree, baking five or six cakes in a month. I got maybe two slices out of all of them; when my brother told me he'd eaten all of his except for some he saved to eat while watching the Super Bowl, I realized that, even though I hadn't baked for about 10 years before that, I hadn't forgotten everything I'd learned.
Many people are surprised to find that not only do I cook, but I'm fairly good at it. I don't usually choose to because my time is so limited, and it never seems to be a good use of time to cook for just one.
For instance, I would never take the time to cook a whole bunch of collard greens the traditional way.
...so I'ma cook 'em up Brazilian style, like a coupla Brazilian brothers have cooked for me and like my friend Erica served me in Rio. You just cut them up the way you want them, then sauté them in EVOO and garlic (and onions if you want). If you're reading this and interested, there are plenty of recipes on the internet. But you just sauté the collard greens in EVOO and garlic. They cook up quickly, and into a really pretty bright green. They look good on a plate with the traditional Brazilian Feijoada.
hmmm.... Black beans are soaking, I have some vegan sausage -- maybe it's time to make a vegan feijoada, and use quinoa instead of farofa... Or since I live near a lot of West Africans, I could actually get some fufu and work with it. It's not the same thing, but it's made from the same stuff.
There are lots of possibilities, and I'm more than a little impressed by the fact that, in most of the places I've traveled (Europe, North, Central and South America, Southeast Asia, Africa, and the Middle East) -- in most of the world, while meat is certainly eaten, it's not at all unusual to eat a plant-based diet, and one that is SIGNIFICANTLY lower in sugar and processed stuff than we eat here. I'm not sure why it's such a big deal to devote oneself to clean eating for a period of time.
Well, actually I do know why it's such a big deal. I look at my kitchen and realize that wow, I have to clean it a lot more often when I actually use it (side note: while I may be helping the environment by not consuming animal flesh, am I negating that good by running my dishwasher more? And no, hand washing is not an option). The reason eating clean is such a big deal in America is because we are so incredibly accustomed to eating crap. It's everywhere, it's easier, and in the short run, it's cheaper. People always talk about how much more expensive it is to eat healthy, but if you factor in quality of life and future healthcare costs, it's probably way easier to eat to live. But, as someone recently pointed out, you can get a double cheeseburger for like $1.00. A salad is close to $10.00. If your financial resources are finite, the choice seems easy.
Especially since when I eat a plant-based diet I feel like I'm eating ALL the TIME. I had some fruit for breakfast, then I snacked on quinoa and samosas for lunch. I had a protein shake (plant-based protein powder is really nasty tasting, but I'm hanging in there with it) during my workout, and had some muesli with almond milk as my evening snack. It doesn't sound like that much, but it felt like I was eating all day long.
Anyway. My prayer partner is excited. She's more of a cooker, so she's doing roasted eggplant and tomatoes, and some sort of faux cheese. She also said there was some faux or almond yogurt, and she's supposed to bring me some. Like me, she's having fun trying new things, and has a whole/health food store nearby. Today's Scripture, BTW, is from Rev. 4:10-11 -- You are Worthy, our Lord and God, to receive Glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being. That's a good Scripture for me to remember and to meditate upon, especially as I drive through NYC. I'm trying very hard to control the road rage -- today a guy yelled at me and I didn't respond or retaliate in any way. I actually let a couple of people cut in front of me, but I still have lots of room to grow in that area...
But we were talking about eating. I'm really excited by this vegan thing. I can see it becoming a regular way of living, not because of any philosophical or ecological reasons, but just because my body seems to like it more. If I show any gains in my ability to train, or any decrease in my body fat percentage during these 40 days, that would sorta seal the deal. Or if I continue to feel good -- not just my physical body, but I feel like some of the clutter is leaving my mind. Dare I hope to be energized enough to make it leave my home, as well?
This is only the third day, but this has been an incredible, and long-overdue, adventure into vegan eating. It's an effort, but I am really loving it! There's something about taking time to consider what you put in your body, and there's something about only putting into your body things God has created rather than things humans have created -- there's something about it that puts me in another place. For instance, tomorrow after my morning workout, I'll have an hour before I go to church. I'll go to Dunkin as usual to get my coffee, and I'll take some Stevia packets to sweeten it, but I won't have any non-dairy creamer, unless I either buy a small container of soy or bring some with me, neither of which is a viable option. But I like my coffee sweet and light...
Guess that will be another adventure. We shall see.
Bought some collards tonite. Before Lent, I went on a bit of a baking spree, baking five or six cakes in a month. I got maybe two slices out of all of them; when my brother told me he'd eaten all of his except for some he saved to eat while watching the Super Bowl, I realized that, even though I hadn't baked for about 10 years before that, I hadn't forgotten everything I'd learned.
Many people are surprised to find that not only do I cook, but I'm fairly good at it. I don't usually choose to because my time is so limited, and it never seems to be a good use of time to cook for just one.
For instance, I would never take the time to cook a whole bunch of collard greens the traditional way.
...so I'ma cook 'em up Brazilian style, like a coupla Brazilian brothers have cooked for me and like my friend Erica served me in Rio. You just cut them up the way you want them, then sauté them in EVOO and garlic (and onions if you want). If you're reading this and interested, there are plenty of recipes on the internet. But you just sauté the collard greens in EVOO and garlic. They cook up quickly, and into a really pretty bright green. They look good on a plate with the traditional Brazilian Feijoada.
hmmm.... Black beans are soaking, I have some vegan sausage -- maybe it's time to make a vegan feijoada, and use quinoa instead of farofa... Or since I live near a lot of West Africans, I could actually get some fufu and work with it. It's not the same thing, but it's made from the same stuff.
There are lots of possibilities, and I'm more than a little impressed by the fact that, in most of the places I've traveled (Europe, North, Central and South America, Southeast Asia, Africa, and the Middle East) -- in most of the world, while meat is certainly eaten, it's not at all unusual to eat a plant-based diet, and one that is SIGNIFICANTLY lower in sugar and processed stuff than we eat here. I'm not sure why it's such a big deal to devote oneself to clean eating for a period of time.
Well, actually I do know why it's such a big deal. I look at my kitchen and realize that wow, I have to clean it a lot more often when I actually use it (side note: while I may be helping the environment by not consuming animal flesh, am I negating that good by running my dishwasher more? And no, hand washing is not an option). The reason eating clean is such a big deal in America is because we are so incredibly accustomed to eating crap. It's everywhere, it's easier, and in the short run, it's cheaper. People always talk about how much more expensive it is to eat healthy, but if you factor in quality of life and future healthcare costs, it's probably way easier to eat to live. But, as someone recently pointed out, you can get a double cheeseburger for like $1.00. A salad is close to $10.00. If your financial resources are finite, the choice seems easy.
Especially since when I eat a plant-based diet I feel like I'm eating ALL the TIME. I had some fruit for breakfast, then I snacked on quinoa and samosas for lunch. I had a protein shake (plant-based protein powder is really nasty tasting, but I'm hanging in there with it) during my workout, and had some muesli with almond milk as my evening snack. It doesn't sound like that much, but it felt like I was eating all day long.
Anyway. My prayer partner is excited. She's more of a cooker, so she's doing roasted eggplant and tomatoes, and some sort of faux cheese. She also said there was some faux or almond yogurt, and she's supposed to bring me some. Like me, she's having fun trying new things, and has a whole/health food store nearby. Today's Scripture, BTW, is from Rev. 4:10-11 -- You are Worthy, our Lord and God, to receive Glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they were created and have their being. That's a good Scripture for me to remember and to meditate upon, especially as I drive through NYC. I'm trying very hard to control the road rage -- today a guy yelled at me and I didn't respond or retaliate in any way. I actually let a couple of people cut in front of me, but I still have lots of room to grow in that area...
But we were talking about eating. I'm really excited by this vegan thing. I can see it becoming a regular way of living, not because of any philosophical or ecological reasons, but just because my body seems to like it more. If I show any gains in my ability to train, or any decrease in my body fat percentage during these 40 days, that would sorta seal the deal. Or if I continue to feel good -- not just my physical body, but I feel like some of the clutter is leaving my mind. Dare I hope to be energized enough to make it leave my home, as well?
This is only the third day, but this has been an incredible, and long-overdue, adventure into vegan eating. It's an effort, but I am really loving it! There's something about taking time to consider what you put in your body, and there's something about only putting into your body things God has created rather than things humans have created -- there's something about it that puts me in another place. For instance, tomorrow after my morning workout, I'll have an hour before I go to church. I'll go to Dunkin as usual to get my coffee, and I'll take some Stevia packets to sweeten it, but I won't have any non-dairy creamer, unless I either buy a small container of soy or bring some with me, neither of which is a viable option. But I like my coffee sweet and light...
Guess that will be another adventure. We shall see.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Mardi Gras, Luther, and the Pope
So it's Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras), the day before Ash Wednesday. Tonight in devotions before our Church History class, the group shared this prayer. It touched me, so I copy it in here:
Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation,
for it is from your goodness that we have this day
to celebrate on the threshold of the Season of Lent.
Tomorrow we will fast and abstain from meat.
Today we feast.
We thank you for the abundance of gifts you shower upon us.
We thank you especially for one another.
As we give you thanks,
we are mindful of those who have so much less than we do.
As we share these wonderful gifts together,
we commit ourselves to greater generosity toward those
who need our support.
Prepare us for tomorrow.
Tasting the fullness of what we have today,
let us experience some hunger tomorrow.
May our fasting make us more alert
and may it heighten our consciousness
so that we might be ready to hear your Word
and respond to your call.
As our feasting fills us with gratitude
so may our fasting and abstinence hollow out in us
a place for deeper desires
and an attentiveness to hear the cry of the poor.
May our self-denial turn our hearts to you
and give us a new freedom for
generous service to others.
We ask you these graces
with our hearts full of delight
and stirring with readiness for the journey ahead.
We ask them with confidence
in the name of Jesus the Lord.
I think they got it off the internet somewhere, but it's a cool prayer. It also highlights for me the fact that I am going into a period of transformation -- making changes in my physical body so that I might take it a bit more out of the way and allow for the recognition of God's work in my spiritual body. As I left class tonight and went shopping, I found myself mindful: how am I going to get enough protein? How can I limit the carbs? What does that leave me with? Oh, maybe I have to actually give some thought to what I'm going to consume? And maybe I can use those piled up takeout containers.... Striving to eat clean, but I'm still doing a little processed stuff -- I got some of those heat and eat packs of Indian food. I thought I was getting vegan, but then realized that one of my saag dishes has some paneer in it. Hmmm... to eat it or not to eat it? Duh. It's a packaged meal. It'll keep...
There is a process, and I'm beginning it. It's hard to reconcile the idea of clean eating or vegan eating with my normal dining habits; every time I look at or pick up food will be an opportunity for transformation.
But on this Fat Tuesday in our Church History Class, we had the pleasure of a lecture from Dr. Bill Rusch, a noted scholar, ordained Lutheran preacher, and a personal acquaintance of both Pope Benedict XVI, leader of the Roman Catholic Church, and of His All Holiness Bartholomew I, the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople (effectively the head of the Eastern Orthodox Communion). I don't know how common or rare it is for one person to know both men personally; in light of Benedict XVI's decision to resign, Dr. Rusch had the opportunity to share some unique insights with us.
But that was after the lecture in his area of expertise, which is Martin Luther. I think there are at least two ways to teach history. You can teach it linearly, or chronologically, or you can teach it in the swirl method, where you contextualize and connect. Since there are always a number of social or political factors affecting any historical movement, there is necessarily some back and forth, hence my appellation "swirl method." Dr. Rusch did an amazing job of combining the two styles. He started off with a timeline of Luther and his life, which he then inserted into the greater context of European Christendom, and then he branched off into the intellectual, social and political effects of Luther's theses and their aftermath. He used this whole exercise to set the stage for the Lutheran understanding of justification, which he then compared to the Roman Catholic understanding of justification, always allowing time for ideas and concepts to sink in and for us to make the intellectual connections. And then suddenly we were into the 1999 Joint Declaration by the Lutheran and Roman Catholic Churches on the Doctrine of Justification. It wasn't quite that simple, of course, but that's the swirl description. It was an amazing lecture; after the proper lecture, he took questions and then we went into a discussion of Pope Benedict (soon to be Cardinal Ratzinger?)'s decision to retire. Again, he wove Canon Law into a fascinating discussion. Not to put words into his mouth, but one of my takeaways was that we so often identify the person who serves in the office of Pope with the power and authority of that Office. In his resignation (and presumed separation or drawing away or staying out of the public eye), Benedict XVI has stressed the humanity of the INDIVIDUAL holding the office. Especially given the Roman Catholic understanding of the Papacy, this is a very significant distinction. In the long history of the Christian church, I regard it as nothing short of profound.
So we have a radical act in the highest office of one of our oldest and most traditional Christian churches; we have a study of a social and/or intellectual upheaval over 500 years ago in that same institution (and the radical act of the healing of the resultant rift), and we have it all to contemplate as we capitulate to our last bits of hedonism or self-indulgence before purposing sourselves to deny a part of our flesh, as Christ did for us, so that we might grow in Him even as He grows in us.
Maybe I'll work on grammar and sentence structure during Lent, as well....
Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation,
for it is from your goodness that we have this day
to celebrate on the threshold of the Season of Lent.
Tomorrow we will fast and abstain from meat.
Today we feast.
We thank you for the abundance of gifts you shower upon us.
We thank you especially for one another.
As we give you thanks,
we are mindful of those who have so much less than we do.
As we share these wonderful gifts together,
we commit ourselves to greater generosity toward those
who need our support.
Prepare us for tomorrow.
Tasting the fullness of what we have today,
let us experience some hunger tomorrow.
May our fasting make us more alert
and may it heighten our consciousness
so that we might be ready to hear your Word
and respond to your call.
As our feasting fills us with gratitude
so may our fasting and abstinence hollow out in us
a place for deeper desires
and an attentiveness to hear the cry of the poor.
May our self-denial turn our hearts to you
and give us a new freedom for
generous service to others.
We ask you these graces
with our hearts full of delight
and stirring with readiness for the journey ahead.
We ask them with confidence
in the name of Jesus the Lord.
I think they got it off the internet somewhere, but it's a cool prayer. It also highlights for me the fact that I am going into a period of transformation -- making changes in my physical body so that I might take it a bit more out of the way and allow for the recognition of God's work in my spiritual body. As I left class tonight and went shopping, I found myself mindful: how am I going to get enough protein? How can I limit the carbs? What does that leave me with? Oh, maybe I have to actually give some thought to what I'm going to consume? And maybe I can use those piled up takeout containers.... Striving to eat clean, but I'm still doing a little processed stuff -- I got some of those heat and eat packs of Indian food. I thought I was getting vegan, but then realized that one of my saag dishes has some paneer in it. Hmmm... to eat it or not to eat it? Duh. It's a packaged meal. It'll keep...
There is a process, and I'm beginning it. It's hard to reconcile the idea of clean eating or vegan eating with my normal dining habits; every time I look at or pick up food will be an opportunity for transformation.
But on this Fat Tuesday in our Church History Class, we had the pleasure of a lecture from Dr. Bill Rusch, a noted scholar, ordained Lutheran preacher, and a personal acquaintance of both Pope Benedict XVI, leader of the Roman Catholic Church, and of His All Holiness Bartholomew I, the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople (effectively the head of the Eastern Orthodox Communion). I don't know how common or rare it is for one person to know both men personally; in light of Benedict XVI's decision to resign, Dr. Rusch had the opportunity to share some unique insights with us.
But that was after the lecture in his area of expertise, which is Martin Luther. I think there are at least two ways to teach history. You can teach it linearly, or chronologically, or you can teach it in the swirl method, where you contextualize and connect. Since there are always a number of social or political factors affecting any historical movement, there is necessarily some back and forth, hence my appellation "swirl method." Dr. Rusch did an amazing job of combining the two styles. He started off with a timeline of Luther and his life, which he then inserted into the greater context of European Christendom, and then he branched off into the intellectual, social and political effects of Luther's theses and their aftermath. He used this whole exercise to set the stage for the Lutheran understanding of justification, which he then compared to the Roman Catholic understanding of justification, always allowing time for ideas and concepts to sink in and for us to make the intellectual connections. And then suddenly we were into the 1999 Joint Declaration by the Lutheran and Roman Catholic Churches on the Doctrine of Justification. It wasn't quite that simple, of course, but that's the swirl description. It was an amazing lecture; after the proper lecture, he took questions and then we went into a discussion of Pope Benedict (soon to be Cardinal Ratzinger?)'s decision to retire. Again, he wove Canon Law into a fascinating discussion. Not to put words into his mouth, but one of my takeaways was that we so often identify the person who serves in the office of Pope with the power and authority of that Office. In his resignation (and presumed separation or drawing away or staying out of the public eye), Benedict XVI has stressed the humanity of the INDIVIDUAL holding the office. Especially given the Roman Catholic understanding of the Papacy, this is a very significant distinction. In the long history of the Christian church, I regard it as nothing short of profound.
So we have a radical act in the highest office of one of our oldest and most traditional Christian churches; we have a study of a social and/or intellectual upheaval over 500 years ago in that same institution (and the radical act of the healing of the resultant rift), and we have it all to contemplate as we capitulate to our last bits of hedonism or self-indulgence before purposing sourselves to deny a part of our flesh, as Christ did for us, so that we might grow in Him even as He grows in us.
Maybe I'll work on grammar and sentence structure during Lent, as well....
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Come, Magnify the Lord With Me!
Psa 34:1-3 was my Call to Worship this morning. Unknown to me, it was also the text from which my Pastor decided to preach. It goes (I'm paraphrasing), "I will bless the Lord at all times; God's Praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will boast in the Lord; the afflicted will hear and rejoice. Come, Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt God's Name Together!!!"
It's a lovely way to call people to worship, and by the time I stood up, I was truly feeling it. Yesterday was the "blizzard of 2013" here in NYC. It was really just a medium to heavy snowfall, but, stinging from criticism of past natural disasters, NYC's Mayor and Emergency Services were taking no chances. They started shutting the City down on Friday night (sort of like my friend, His Excellency, Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts, did with Boston). They asked everyone who didn't need to be on the roads to stay home, so I stayed inside all day yesterday.
While this gave an opportunity for the plows to get out and do their thing, it also created some of the unique aftermath of snowplows. For instance, I put my car in the lot on Friday night. Got up early this morning so I could wipe it down before going to church. (I've discovered that if I can get there by 10 am I can usually get a spot. It only takes 10 minutes to get there, but I needed to be at the car by 9 to clean it off.) So I turn it on and start getting the snow off the top and hood and front and back windows. The guy parked beside me is doing the same. While it was great that our parking lot plows it out for us, I hadn't counted on the fact that the plows would leave mounds of snow in front of and behind our rows of cars. The cars are parked in rows, and the plow cleans the pavement between the rows. This just piles up snow in front of the cars. So I had a mountain of snow in front of and behind my car. I, of course, tried to drive over the mountain, but since my car only has front wheel drive, and since the snow came up higher than the tires, I wasn't successful. Fortunately, the guy beside me was there and HAD A SHOVEL! So I got to shovel my car out and drive on to church. Come Magnify the Lord with me!
Got to church and found a spot on the same street, almost in front of the church. The person who'd left it apparently had a jeep or some other suv; there was the same wall of snow all around where the car had been. New York resident that I am, I tried rocking my car into the spot, but was not completely successful. Once again, the guys behind me HAD SHOVELS! They even had EXTRA shovels, and loaned me one, so I could shovel out the snow and get into the spot. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!!!
All of that was great, but I had now shoveled TWO car lengths worth of snow, and hadn't even had my morning coffee. Oh, and I had my computer and my LCD projector because I thought they wanted me to bring it for Black History month. I dropped them off at the church, went to DD and got myself some coffee, got a cup for the Pastor, and got munchkins for the food table.
So by the time worship started, yes, I was ready to MAGNIFY the Lord! I connected with my prayer partner who is joining me in the Vegan for Lent journey. She was also excited. For both of us, I think it's not so much that we're "giving something up" for Lent as that we are being intentional about going to a deeper level during Lent. As I slowly adopt a more plant-based diet, I'm already seeing positive results, and am prayerful that the daily meditations combined with intentional change will open me up for God to do God's thing in me.
Church was church. We have a state politician, Rep. Bill Perkins, who's been good to the church, so we honored him, his wife, and his staff. Afterwards, we had Bible Study, and I had a counseling session with a couple who'll be married this summer. Then I went to Fairway and had a wonderful time buying some vegan food, and reading the labels on other foods ( -- if it's made with cellulose gum, is it still vegan? I don't know, but I'm not buying it...) --it's AMAZING what they put into food these days, and equally amazing that you can buy food that doesn't have stuff in it that you can't pronounce and/or don't know what it is. So the journey has begun. Come, Magnify the Lord with me!
I ran some errands after that, and on the way home, saw Rep. Perkins and his wife again. I offered them a ride (Magnify the Lord; I have a car!), but they were near their house and chose to walk. I came home and dropped off my stuff, then went to put the car in the lot. The guy beside me had completely dug himself out, and there was now a huge mound of snow where my space had been. I kicked at it for a while, threw some ice boulders out of the way, and then drove around three or four times and just packed the ice down. I was able to take all the excess snow off my car, and leave it parked, albeit on a little snow mountain. Magnify the Lord!
Back home, I decided to do a pre-Fat-Tuesday mini-feast. I didn't dare disturb the car, so I had Indian food delivered. The order came to $24.00 and change. I gave the guy a 20 and two fives, and he's like, "don't you have any change?" I looked at him, and considered taking one of the fives back and giving him some change. Poor guy didn't understand that I was giving him a tip until I walked him through it: "OK, how much is the order?" "24.60." "OK, so here's 25, and then..." He still didn't get it until I expressly said "Dude, this is for you." Magnify the Lord. America is the only place I know of where you can be unable to read, write, or speak the dominant tongue, be unable to count, and still be able to make a living. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
So I had my Rasmalai, a chicken samosa (and I have another one) and I have some Saag Paneer. I'll have to consume all that before Wednesday, as they all have animal by-products. They are, strictly speaking, vegetarian (well, not the samosa), but not vegan. I think I'm gonna like this vegan thing. Being mindful of what you put in your body can't be bad, and my physical training will continue. It will be interesting to see what effect eating vegan for 40 days will have on my body on my endurance, and on my performance. In my mind, both my arthritis and my posture are going to get better. Magnify the Lord.
So as I'm at home relaxing, I remember the dual showerhead I ordered for Christmas. It took me all of five minutes to take the existing shower massager out of the master bathroom and install it in the guest bathroom. It took me a bit longer, maybe half an hour, to install the dual showerhead in the master bathroom. But I did, and I tested it, and it's lovely! I won't know how strong the water pressure is until I get in it, but it looks good, and I'm happy to have installed it. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
In the process, I had to pick out some tools. I was looking for my pipe wrench but couldn't find it, so I got my monkey wrench which wasn't big enough, so I found my slip joint pliers. As I was going through my tool box, I gave thanks again for my father, who intuitively knows that a great gift for his daughter is a toolset (it's genetic. Since I can remember, I've enjoyed tinkering and building things. Turns out it's because I'm my father's child). Come, Magnify the Lord with Me, and Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
It's been a wonderful day, a lot has been accomplished, and it's all been because of God's Goodness and Grace. It's not quite 10 pm, and I'm going to bed. So come on -- Come Magnify the Lord with me, and Let us Exalt God's Name Together!!!!
It's a lovely way to call people to worship, and by the time I stood up, I was truly feeling it. Yesterday was the "blizzard of 2013" here in NYC. It was really just a medium to heavy snowfall, but, stinging from criticism of past natural disasters, NYC's Mayor and Emergency Services were taking no chances. They started shutting the City down on Friday night (sort of like my friend, His Excellency, Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts, did with Boston). They asked everyone who didn't need to be on the roads to stay home, so I stayed inside all day yesterday.
While this gave an opportunity for the plows to get out and do their thing, it also created some of the unique aftermath of snowplows. For instance, I put my car in the lot on Friday night. Got up early this morning so I could wipe it down before going to church. (I've discovered that if I can get there by 10 am I can usually get a spot. It only takes 10 minutes to get there, but I needed to be at the car by 9 to clean it off.) So I turn it on and start getting the snow off the top and hood and front and back windows. The guy parked beside me is doing the same. While it was great that our parking lot plows it out for us, I hadn't counted on the fact that the plows would leave mounds of snow in front of and behind our rows of cars. The cars are parked in rows, and the plow cleans the pavement between the rows. This just piles up snow in front of the cars. So I had a mountain of snow in front of and behind my car. I, of course, tried to drive over the mountain, but since my car only has front wheel drive, and since the snow came up higher than the tires, I wasn't successful. Fortunately, the guy beside me was there and HAD A SHOVEL! So I got to shovel my car out and drive on to church. Come Magnify the Lord with me!
Got to church and found a spot on the same street, almost in front of the church. The person who'd left it apparently had a jeep or some other suv; there was the same wall of snow all around where the car had been. New York resident that I am, I tried rocking my car into the spot, but was not completely successful. Once again, the guys behind me HAD SHOVELS! They even had EXTRA shovels, and loaned me one, so I could shovel out the snow and get into the spot. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!!!
All of that was great, but I had now shoveled TWO car lengths worth of snow, and hadn't even had my morning coffee. Oh, and I had my computer and my LCD projector because I thought they wanted me to bring it for Black History month. I dropped them off at the church, went to DD and got myself some coffee, got a cup for the Pastor, and got munchkins for the food table.
So by the time worship started, yes, I was ready to MAGNIFY the Lord! I connected with my prayer partner who is joining me in the Vegan for Lent journey. She was also excited. For both of us, I think it's not so much that we're "giving something up" for Lent as that we are being intentional about going to a deeper level during Lent. As I slowly adopt a more plant-based diet, I'm already seeing positive results, and am prayerful that the daily meditations combined with intentional change will open me up for God to do God's thing in me.
Church was church. We have a state politician, Rep. Bill Perkins, who's been good to the church, so we honored him, his wife, and his staff. Afterwards, we had Bible Study, and I had a counseling session with a couple who'll be married this summer. Then I went to Fairway and had a wonderful time buying some vegan food, and reading the labels on other foods ( -- if it's made with cellulose gum, is it still vegan? I don't know, but I'm not buying it...) --it's AMAZING what they put into food these days, and equally amazing that you can buy food that doesn't have stuff in it that you can't pronounce and/or don't know what it is. So the journey has begun. Come, Magnify the Lord with me!
I ran some errands after that, and on the way home, saw Rep. Perkins and his wife again. I offered them a ride (Magnify the Lord; I have a car!), but they were near their house and chose to walk. I came home and dropped off my stuff, then went to put the car in the lot. The guy beside me had completely dug himself out, and there was now a huge mound of snow where my space had been. I kicked at it for a while, threw some ice boulders out of the way, and then drove around three or four times and just packed the ice down. I was able to take all the excess snow off my car, and leave it parked, albeit on a little snow mountain. Magnify the Lord!
Back home, I decided to do a pre-Fat-Tuesday mini-feast. I didn't dare disturb the car, so I had Indian food delivered. The order came to $24.00 and change. I gave the guy a 20 and two fives, and he's like, "don't you have any change?" I looked at him, and considered taking one of the fives back and giving him some change. Poor guy didn't understand that I was giving him a tip until I walked him through it: "OK, how much is the order?" "24.60." "OK, so here's 25, and then..." He still didn't get it until I expressly said "Dude, this is for you." Magnify the Lord. America is the only place I know of where you can be unable to read, write, or speak the dominant tongue, be unable to count, and still be able to make a living. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
So I had my Rasmalai, a chicken samosa (and I have another one) and I have some Saag Paneer. I'll have to consume all that before Wednesday, as they all have animal by-products. They are, strictly speaking, vegetarian (well, not the samosa), but not vegan. I think I'm gonna like this vegan thing. Being mindful of what you put in your body can't be bad, and my physical training will continue. It will be interesting to see what effect eating vegan for 40 days will have on my body on my endurance, and on my performance. In my mind, both my arthritis and my posture are going to get better. Magnify the Lord.
So as I'm at home relaxing, I remember the dual showerhead I ordered for Christmas. It took me all of five minutes to take the existing shower massager out of the master bathroom and install it in the guest bathroom. It took me a bit longer, maybe half an hour, to install the dual showerhead in the master bathroom. But I did, and I tested it, and it's lovely! I won't know how strong the water pressure is until I get in it, but it looks good, and I'm happy to have installed it. Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
In the process, I had to pick out some tools. I was looking for my pipe wrench but couldn't find it, so I got my monkey wrench which wasn't big enough, so I found my slip joint pliers. As I was going through my tool box, I gave thanks again for my father, who intuitively knows that a great gift for his daughter is a toolset (it's genetic. Since I can remember, I've enjoyed tinkering and building things. Turns out it's because I'm my father's child). Come, Magnify the Lord with Me, and Let us Exalt God's Name Together!
It's been a wonderful day, a lot has been accomplished, and it's all been because of God's Goodness and Grace. It's not quite 10 pm, and I'm going to bed. So come on -- Come Magnify the Lord with me, and Let us Exalt God's Name Together!!!!
Friday, February 8, 2013
Vegan for Lent
Normally I think that telling people you're fasting or giving up something for Lent or in other ways advertising your piety pretty much, by definition, negates it. I'm not sharing here to advertise, I'm sharing because I'm excited about a change I'm about to make.
It appears that I have made the decision to eat vegan for Lent. I say "eat vegan," because the most I could ever become is a dietary vegan. It will be a new experience to become intentional about converting to a completely plant-based diet, and taking all animal-based foods away. Specifically, there are a couple of medical reasons I need to supplement with protein. I had to get soy-based protein (which is a little risky given the type of cancer I had), because whey protein is animal-based. While vegan eating does not rule out sugar, I've become aware that some cane sugar and some sugar substitutes are processed through animal bones, so they're out. I've also come to realize that I can't indulge my addiction to TJ's jelly beans, since gelatin is made from bones, hooves, etc.
So I have to get intentional about what I put in my body. That's cool; the next step for me in training is to begin to eat cleaner, so the eating part works. I'm not and probably never will be a philosophical vegan; while I respect all sentient life and have always had an aversion to eating animals or to being reminded of the fact that what I'm eating was a living being, I also believe that humans exercise dominion over the other sentient creatures. I also recognize that sentient creatures eat one another from time to time, so no -- I don't foresee myself ever becoming a philosophical vegan.
But for the 40 days of Lent, I intend to adopt a plant-based diet. Well, a diet that excludes animal products. I want to use an artificial sweetener that is derived from plants (nectresse, or something) and might revert to agave (though I don't really like that in my coffee. It's like putting honey in coffee); there are food items initially derived from plants that have so many artificial additives that I would consider them chemicals. I'm thinking I probably won't ingest them. And I haven't done a complete inventory of all my vitamins to make sure that none of them have any traces of animal processing, so that's something I'll need to do.
But yes, I'm making the switch, and I'm expecting both health benefits and will go through a meditative/contemplative process. I found a guide, interestingly enough called "Vegan for Lent," that includes Scripture, recipes, and even the names of some restaurant chains and types of food that are suitable for vegan eating. Although that's not really an issue for me. I've been eating the texturized tofu (Thai Chicken; a little tough but nicely spiced) and know of at least 3 or 4 supermarkets where I can find ready-to-go vegan products. Additionally, the Engine 2 diet has products at Trader Joe's. TJ's also has a convenient marker (v) for its vegan foods -- TJ and Whole Foods both offer lots of Indian food, many dishes of which are vegan.
I went into Polash tonight and got another Saag Paneer and a Vegetable Vindaloo. I asked the guy if any of the dishes on the menu were vegan, that is, prepared without butter or any other animal product. He began to rattle off a list, and then decided that next time I came in, he'd just go through the menu with me and indicate which products are vegan. So I don't think eating vegan will be an issue; I hope and pray that the growth will come in my own intentionality about what I put into my body.
And it doesn't have to end at Lent. I've been vegetarian for as long as a couple of years at a stretch, usually for health reasons. I'm interested to see how I feel (and whether any cravings remain) after 40 days of plant-based eating. That will determine how I move forward.
So I'm in until at least tomorrow afternoon. There's a blizzard in NYC. The car is safely in the lot, which was being plowed by some crazy speeding tow truck driver, the Y cancelled classes and closed from 5 pm tonite til tomorrow at noon, so I don't have to worry about working out, and I have saag and vindaloo to keep me company. Maybe I'll get some sleep and then go put up that new shower head.
I'm excited about this next phase. I have a prayer and accountability partner, and we're going to go Vegan for Lent!
It appears that I have made the decision to eat vegan for Lent. I say "eat vegan," because the most I could ever become is a dietary vegan. It will be a new experience to become intentional about converting to a completely plant-based diet, and taking all animal-based foods away. Specifically, there are a couple of medical reasons I need to supplement with protein. I had to get soy-based protein (which is a little risky given the type of cancer I had), because whey protein is animal-based. While vegan eating does not rule out sugar, I've become aware that some cane sugar and some sugar substitutes are processed through animal bones, so they're out. I've also come to realize that I can't indulge my addiction to TJ's jelly beans, since gelatin is made from bones, hooves, etc.
So I have to get intentional about what I put in my body. That's cool; the next step for me in training is to begin to eat cleaner, so the eating part works. I'm not and probably never will be a philosophical vegan; while I respect all sentient life and have always had an aversion to eating animals or to being reminded of the fact that what I'm eating was a living being, I also believe that humans exercise dominion over the other sentient creatures. I also recognize that sentient creatures eat one another from time to time, so no -- I don't foresee myself ever becoming a philosophical vegan.
But for the 40 days of Lent, I intend to adopt a plant-based diet. Well, a diet that excludes animal products. I want to use an artificial sweetener that is derived from plants (nectresse, or something) and might revert to agave (though I don't really like that in my coffee. It's like putting honey in coffee); there are food items initially derived from plants that have so many artificial additives that I would consider them chemicals. I'm thinking I probably won't ingest them. And I haven't done a complete inventory of all my vitamins to make sure that none of them have any traces of animal processing, so that's something I'll need to do.
But yes, I'm making the switch, and I'm expecting both health benefits and will go through a meditative/contemplative process. I found a guide, interestingly enough called "Vegan for Lent," that includes Scripture, recipes, and even the names of some restaurant chains and types of food that are suitable for vegan eating. Although that's not really an issue for me. I've been eating the texturized tofu (Thai Chicken; a little tough but nicely spiced) and know of at least 3 or 4 supermarkets where I can find ready-to-go vegan products. Additionally, the Engine 2 diet has products at Trader Joe's. TJ's also has a convenient marker (v) for its vegan foods -- TJ and Whole Foods both offer lots of Indian food, many dishes of which are vegan.
I went into Polash tonight and got another Saag Paneer and a Vegetable Vindaloo. I asked the guy if any of the dishes on the menu were vegan, that is, prepared without butter or any other animal product. He began to rattle off a list, and then decided that next time I came in, he'd just go through the menu with me and indicate which products are vegan. So I don't think eating vegan will be an issue; I hope and pray that the growth will come in my own intentionality about what I put into my body.
And it doesn't have to end at Lent. I've been vegetarian for as long as a couple of years at a stretch, usually for health reasons. I'm interested to see how I feel (and whether any cravings remain) after 40 days of plant-based eating. That will determine how I move forward.
So I'm in until at least tomorrow afternoon. There's a blizzard in NYC. The car is safely in the lot, which was being plowed by some crazy speeding tow truck driver, the Y cancelled classes and closed from 5 pm tonite til tomorrow at noon, so I don't have to worry about working out, and I have saag and vindaloo to keep me company. Maybe I'll get some sleep and then go put up that new shower head.
I'm excited about this next phase. I have a prayer and accountability partner, and we're going to go Vegan for Lent!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Random Thoughts...
Have had occasion to share this poem twice today, so will post it here. I wrote it on the plane coming back from my first trip to Israel, and it reminds me of why I want so much to organize a group of CMEs to go there. I believe we'll make it in 2015.
Interestingly, I was making plans to go to Jamaica, and talked to a woman whose husband has done some work with Jimmy Carter's foundation. (hint: that means he's had some exposure to the injustices suffered by Palestinians and the hypocrisy perpetuated by Israelis). Turns out he and I had struck up a conversation in the airport in New Orleans. That was pretty cool. He works for Bread for the World.
So I'm here now in Church History class. It's not enough that I work out 5 days a week, or that I'm trying my best to helm a nonprofit that seems to defy direction. No, I have to be a teaching assistant in seminary. Truth be told, though -- if I hit the Lotto or didn't have mortgages on two properties, I'd probably pursue a Ph.D, exploring Tertullian's African understanding of the Godhead and his influence on the western construction of the concept of the Trinity. That fascinates me, as do many of the nuances of church history.
Lots of stuff fascinates me. I am fairly easily amused, and capable of intellectual engagement at just about any level. Anyway, here's my poem. Apparently meter doesn't fascinate me quite so much as it once did, although this isn't a horrible effort for the first attempt in about 20 years. Probably should work that craft more as well. But I think I want to work more on the bod. This link to a kettlebell class shows how very much more work I have to do. Of course, everyone pales in comparison to Harold, the instructor. Fortunately, the camera is not directly on me, but I can be seen in sky blue shorts in the mirror. This class is pretty embarrassing because I slacked off so much. I have better days than the one here, but I need to get to looking a lot better than I do in this video. I'm thinking of going vegan for lent; if I can keep my amino acid levels in check, perhaps I'll train my body a bit better. It'll be interesting to see if I can video a class after Easter and see if there's a difference in my performance.
Oh, well. The poem is below. I have lots of work to do.
In the meantime, here's a poem I wrote almost four years ago:
Interestingly, I was making plans to go to Jamaica, and talked to a woman whose husband has done some work with Jimmy Carter's foundation. (hint: that means he's had some exposure to the injustices suffered by Palestinians and the hypocrisy perpetuated by Israelis). Turns out he and I had struck up a conversation in the airport in New Orleans. That was pretty cool. He works for Bread for the World.
So I'm here now in Church History class. It's not enough that I work out 5 days a week, or that I'm trying my best to helm a nonprofit that seems to defy direction. No, I have to be a teaching assistant in seminary. Truth be told, though -- if I hit the Lotto or didn't have mortgages on two properties, I'd probably pursue a Ph.D, exploring Tertullian's African understanding of the Godhead and his influence on the western construction of the concept of the Trinity. That fascinates me, as do many of the nuances of church history.
Lots of stuff fascinates me. I am fairly easily amused, and capable of intellectual engagement at just about any level. Anyway, here's my poem. Apparently meter doesn't fascinate me quite so much as it once did, although this isn't a horrible effort for the first attempt in about 20 years. Probably should work that craft more as well. But I think I want to work more on the bod. This link to a kettlebell class shows how very much more work I have to do. Of course, everyone pales in comparison to Harold, the instructor. Fortunately, the camera is not directly on me, but I can be seen in sky blue shorts in the mirror. This class is pretty embarrassing because I slacked off so much. I have better days than the one here, but I need to get to looking a lot better than I do in this video. I'm thinking of going vegan for lent; if I can keep my amino acid levels in check, perhaps I'll train my body a bit better. It'll be interesting to see if I can video a class after Easter and see if there's a difference in my performance.
Oh, well. The poem is below. I have lots of work to do.
In the meantime, here's a poem I wrote almost four years ago:
Reflections On Our Trip
We stood on the banks of Jordan,
Held crosses of olive wood.
We even went to that Biblical stream and
Stood on the rock where Moses stood.
We sailed on the Sea of Galilee
Took bread and wine at Gethsemane.
We saw Biblical places, mighty and small,
Feeling the Lord’s presence among them all.
This wasn’t a journey for personal pleasure –
It wasn’t about buying trinkets and treasures.
God’s people are hurting – they must be set free.
I’m joining the effort – will you join with me?
To preach and to pray, glorifying God’s Son,
Telling the world there’s much more to be done.
We can’t be complacent – there’s too much at stake.
The Lion prowls, with destruction in his wake.
God’s people have needs and we have the means
To heal, to build up – to do so many things.
To show through our actions, our words and our power
That Jesus is with us, even still in this hour.
They’re from Southern Israel: Nazareth, Galilee –
Yes, some could be terrorists; they’re Jesus’ cousins to me.
Daring to stand and to fight for their homes
Has left them appearing and feeling alone.
Guards. Checkpoints. A 35-foot wall.
Systematic, racist oppression. But wait, that’s not all!
Displaced from their homelands to this refugee mess –
Generations now live there, ignored by the West.
So now let us be ready and willing to go.
Let’s spread the news so the whole world will know
That Jesus, Our Savior, is Lord above ALL.
Let’s carry this message and not drop the ball.
Written between Amman and Chicago.
2/18/09
cgp
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Helluva month
So on the Friday before Christmas, my agency's administrative offices were destroyed by fire. The circumstances are, to put it kindly, suspect. Within a month my aunt passed away and I drove to NC to preach her funeral, a task that was much more physically and emotionally draining than I could have imagined. I returned late on a Saturday night only to find that I couldn't get out of pulpit duty the next day because another preacher was sick, so I had pulpit duty on Sunday followed by a counseling session. I came back into the office to discover a flood from burst pipes.
In all this time, I'm discovering things about people, things too disturbing to discuss in a public forum. It's just good to know who has your back versus who has a knife aimed at your back. And I'm eternally grateful that I come from a family that always has each other's back. I'm thinking it might be a good idea for me to take a long weekend in the South once a quarter or so. It's refreshing, and the change of pace does me good.
I say it's been a helluva month because it's pretty clear to me that the battle I'm in is not a carnal one, but a spiritual one. I happen to believe we're on the verge of some empowering, transformative activities in the South Bronx, and I think satan has an investment in keeping that neighborhood and its people under a yoke. When I saw some of the things that have happened in the last month, I was discouraged, dismayed, and disgusted. It was then I realized that the enemy was using my emotions to get at me: when I'm upset, I don't want to function. The negativity combined with the feelings associated with my aunt's death had me off balance for a minute.
How surprised and grateful was I then, to find that like any preacher, I would preach my way through my storm? It's an awesome task to find a word of comfort or encouragement for those who mourn; it's even more daunting when they are close relatives, and the difficulty factor grows exponentially when your own spirit is in despair. Yet, that's where I found myself. At first, I couldn't understand why Pastor Williams was so intent on handling everything except the eulogy, or why she asked me if I was "straight." (Although I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I think they're invisible or something.) I told her that God is Able, and we left that alone. It was only after I was in the pulpit, as the preaching moment grew near, that I found myself doubting my ability to actually deliver the eulogy I'd written. After all, who was I to speak a word to these people who'd known me through all my colossal life failures, and who knew all my not-so-secrets? By the time I was trying to make notes on the eulogy, my hand was shaking way worse than someone with Parkinson's; I literally was unable to write notes on the page.
Not sure how, but I did stand up to the pulpit. That's about all I remember; God took over after then, and the next thing I knew I was going back and forth in the pulpit area shouting and carrying on (I'm not a whooping preacher; I'm a teacher). The fact that my cousin ran up into the pulpit to hug me, and the pastor high-fived me lead me to believe that I preached some truth with some conviction. My cousin had expressly asked me not to talk long, so I timed my eulogy at 22 minutes. After the service, she told me I could have gone on longer. That was pretty cool.
And after that, there was this lingering peace. I talked about renewal, preaching from the 2 Cor text that starts with Paul talking about how we are outwardly wasting away but inwardly being renewed day by day, and ended with the part that says that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. It's a weird text, but was totally appropriate for my Aunt who succumbed to Alzheimer's. There was an invitation as well; while I didn't open the doors to the church, I did mention all our past and present family members by name, and called for us to join an Eternal Family Reunion. I like to think that it got us past being afraid of sickness and death and to focus on living the best life we can, with God's help.
I know that we're planning a family reunion for May, since we are now the senior generation of our family. We're committed to being a family and being together. This is really cool for me, since this is on my mother's side of the family and the Perry side is doing the same thing. So despite all the drama that goes on at work, there is a peace and stability of family, sort of like that Jesus Peace that Passes All Understanding. It's been a helluva month, yes, but I've got my Peace and I've got my Joy and I've got a Praise on the Inside, a Praise down in my soul, a Glory Hallelujah that cannot be controlled, yes I STILL have a Praise inside of me!
There will likely be more hellish times ahead. When I was told about the flood, I just nodded and went on with my whatever I was doing. There comes a time when the external stimuli no longer stimulate -- yeah, you can try to push my buttons, but I get to choose how I respond. And quite frankly, God's benevolence to me far outweighs these light and momentary troubles. (When I've really grown spiritually, I'll have that sort of attitude behind the wheel, as well).
So yes, it's been a helluva month, but I've been visited by a heavenly presence Who lets me know that I'm being purged and pruned and prepared for the better days ahead. Helluva month? Yeah. But my focus is on a heavenly eternity which far, far, far outweighs the measly little helluva month.
In all this time, I'm discovering things about people, things too disturbing to discuss in a public forum. It's just good to know who has your back versus who has a knife aimed at your back. And I'm eternally grateful that I come from a family that always has each other's back. I'm thinking it might be a good idea for me to take a long weekend in the South once a quarter or so. It's refreshing, and the change of pace does me good.
I say it's been a helluva month because it's pretty clear to me that the battle I'm in is not a carnal one, but a spiritual one. I happen to believe we're on the verge of some empowering, transformative activities in the South Bronx, and I think satan has an investment in keeping that neighborhood and its people under a yoke. When I saw some of the things that have happened in the last month, I was discouraged, dismayed, and disgusted. It was then I realized that the enemy was using my emotions to get at me: when I'm upset, I don't want to function. The negativity combined with the feelings associated with my aunt's death had me off balance for a minute.
How surprised and grateful was I then, to find that like any preacher, I would preach my way through my storm? It's an awesome task to find a word of comfort or encouragement for those who mourn; it's even more daunting when they are close relatives, and the difficulty factor grows exponentially when your own spirit is in despair. Yet, that's where I found myself. At first, I couldn't understand why Pastor Williams was so intent on handling everything except the eulogy, or why she asked me if I was "straight." (Although I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I think they're invisible or something.) I told her that God is Able, and we left that alone. It was only after I was in the pulpit, as the preaching moment grew near, that I found myself doubting my ability to actually deliver the eulogy I'd written. After all, who was I to speak a word to these people who'd known me through all my colossal life failures, and who knew all my not-so-secrets? By the time I was trying to make notes on the eulogy, my hand was shaking way worse than someone with Parkinson's; I literally was unable to write notes on the page.
Not sure how, but I did stand up to the pulpit. That's about all I remember; God took over after then, and the next thing I knew I was going back and forth in the pulpit area shouting and carrying on (I'm not a whooping preacher; I'm a teacher). The fact that my cousin ran up into the pulpit to hug me, and the pastor high-fived me lead me to believe that I preached some truth with some conviction. My cousin had expressly asked me not to talk long, so I timed my eulogy at 22 minutes. After the service, she told me I could have gone on longer. That was pretty cool.
And after that, there was this lingering peace. I talked about renewal, preaching from the 2 Cor text that starts with Paul talking about how we are outwardly wasting away but inwardly being renewed day by day, and ended with the part that says that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. It's a weird text, but was totally appropriate for my Aunt who succumbed to Alzheimer's. There was an invitation as well; while I didn't open the doors to the church, I did mention all our past and present family members by name, and called for us to join an Eternal Family Reunion. I like to think that it got us past being afraid of sickness and death and to focus on living the best life we can, with God's help.
I know that we're planning a family reunion for May, since we are now the senior generation of our family. We're committed to being a family and being together. This is really cool for me, since this is on my mother's side of the family and the Perry side is doing the same thing. So despite all the drama that goes on at work, there is a peace and stability of family, sort of like that Jesus Peace that Passes All Understanding. It's been a helluva month, yes, but I've got my Peace and I've got my Joy and I've got a Praise on the Inside, a Praise down in my soul, a Glory Hallelujah that cannot be controlled, yes I STILL have a Praise inside of me!
There will likely be more hellish times ahead. When I was told about the flood, I just nodded and went on with my whatever I was doing. There comes a time when the external stimuli no longer stimulate -- yeah, you can try to push my buttons, but I get to choose how I respond. And quite frankly, God's benevolence to me far outweighs these light and momentary troubles. (When I've really grown spiritually, I'll have that sort of attitude behind the wheel, as well).
So yes, it's been a helluva month, but I've been visited by a heavenly presence Who lets me know that I'm being purged and pruned and prepared for the better days ahead. Helluva month? Yeah. But my focus is on a heavenly eternity which far, far, far outweighs the measly little helluva month.
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Pastors' Conference
So from the 14th through the 17th, I
was in ATL at a Pastor’s Conference. I have to admit that my expectations weren’t
particularly high; it seems we do a lot of meeting, eating, and greeting, but
not a whole lot of teaching and even less intentional reflection,
transformation, or growth. But I’m trying
to be a good CME preacher and, since it looks like our Israel trip isn’t going
to jump off, I was committed to attending as many meetings as possible.
So I went. And I’m SO
glad I did! First of all, I got to spend
time with my fellow CME Preacher
cousins: Phyllis (Perry) Rhone-Cameron
and Delores Perry. I’d always heard
about them, and briefly met them at the Unity Summit, but had never had the
privilege of hanging out with them. It
was WONDERFUL! Not only did I learn that
the CME tradition has indeed
flowed on the Perry side of the family (I always thought only my maternal side
was CME ), but we also got to meet
with our cousin Julianne, who married the son of one of our CME Bishops.
So I went from thinking I was the only Perry who is CME to having daily communion with three other
Perrys, who are CME , two of whom
are CME preachers. Yeah, that was great!!!
But what was also great was the conference. In addition to family, I got the chance to
meet a few people face to face whom I’d previously only met on Facebook. It’s always neat to meet cyber friends face
to face.
On the first day, I had the opportunity to have a wonderful
conversation with Rev. Dykes, a young man who will undoubtedly rise to the
office of the Episcopacy one day. It’s
been my pleasure to have watched him since he was passing ordination tests but
unable to be ordained because he didn’t meet the age requirement; now in his mid-twenties, he’s comfortable in
his role as Pastor and pursuing his education. He’s also quite proud of ITC, so he took me to the campus
and showed me around. We got to drive
past a house in which The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King once lived, and we got to
walk all over ITC’s campus. He
introduced me to Dr. Randall C. Bailey. Dr. Bailey has an amazingly brilliant
mind, and reminds me of the need for continued balance in our educational and
pastoral pursuits. But the mental
gymnastics were stimulating, and a wonderful prelude to a conference that would
provide more of the same.
As I said, I didn’t expect much from the Conference. My bad.
IT. WAS. AWESOME!!! There was
great fellowship, great preaching, praise, and worship, and GREAT
TEACHING!! Bible Study was by Rev. Dr.
Judy Fentress-Williams, an OT prof at Virginia Theological Seminary in
Alexandria. She and Dr. Joy Moore of
Fuller (formerly of DUDS) were outstanding teachers, each teaching for two
days, and each combining cutting-edge scholarship, insightful interpretation,
and transformative models for action, change and growth in today’s church. If the two days had been just to hear those
two women’s four lectures, it would have been worthwhile. Fentress, for example,
started the first day with a study of the Shema, and wrapped up the second day
by explaining the concept of remix and building upon that a new model for the
concept of “church.” Joy (comes in the
morning) Moore talked about Executing Justice, and did a very compelling comparison
of the society described in “The Hunger Games” to our modern society. She was great at shocking us to re-examine
staid, comfortable ways of looking at things.
But there was more, including a very interesting lecture from the
Missions prof at ITC, (Dr. Marsha Snulligan Haney), as well as preaching by the
Reverend William D. Watley.
There was a Women in Ministry luncheon where the keynote speaker was a male who told us it was time for there to be women in ministry. There was a room full of women ministers from across the CME Zion, and no opportunity for them to interact or network in any way. We paid $15.00 for less variety than (and apparently some of the leftover items from) the previous day's $13.95 buffet, and were met with two additional requests for money. Fortunately the women at my table engaged in dialogue among ourselves. I was particularly humbled that Rev. Boyd, a current student at Phillips, chose to discuss ideas for doctoral research with me. She actually sought me out to have the convo! I got to tell her about Macarius and the Desert Fathers, and about my thoughts about Tertullian and the influence of his African heritage on our present day (eurocentricized) understanding of the Trinity. It was a good convo, it did my heart good to be able to have such a conversation with a CME woman seminarian, and it made me happy that she valued my opinion enough to seek me out and ask for it.
So that was all awesome, and while I didn’t get a Club Floor
upgrade, I did get comped with access to the Club Lounge, so I didn’t have to
pay for breakfast, water, soda, or evening snacks. I think I only ate in the hotel restaurant
once, and the rest of the time we went out. I also got comped with in-room internet access, which meant I could work in private.. All that makes a tremendous difference. (Of course, the hotel didn’t manage to give
me a final accounting or bill, so we’ll see how it all comes out…). I think this is the first time I’ve ever
stayed in a hotel and the bill hasn’t been under my door on the last
morning. Oh, well. I'm gonna leave that one alone.
So it was a wonderful trip.
I didn’t realize until afterwards how much I needed the trip, the
fellowship, and the healing it brought. On
the way back home, I started watching that atrocity they call a movie, “Django
Unchained.” I’m sorry, I don’t like
Westerns, have never learned to appreciate Tarantino’s “talent,” and by 20
minutes in I had seen so many exploding heads and heard so much contrived
swearing that I can’t see myself ever managing to finish it. I’m SO glad I downloaded a reviewer’s copy;
had I paid money to see it on the big screen, I’d probably be pissed. Maybe I’ll try to watch it again, but I don’t
think so. I bring it up because I
was looking at the way the shackles seemed to have eaten into the flesh of some
of the enslaved people. I couldn’t help
but think that it’s the same way with the issues that shackle us in life. They
start out as little irritations, and if we don’t become unshackled or
unfettered, the irritations become more and more pronounced. If allowed to persist, they can create wounds. If the wounds are left untreated, they can
fester, grow, and eventually destroy us. I’d been walking around wounded
for a long time, and a lot of healing came at this conference. I’m going to have to learn to take things a
bit more slowly and to be as intentional about my alone time as I am about my
gym time, but some healing has begun.
That’s really cool, especially since I didn’t even realize I was
wounded.
Perhaps I didn’t realize I was wounded because of the
environment I allow around me. As we
were landing in NY we hit quite a few air bumps, and I realized that I
actually like a bit of turbulence when I’m in an airplane. It makes the ride more interesting, it forces
me to stay completely in the moment, and it reinforces the fact that we are
helpless and completely reliant on God.
… and then I realized that growth (and maybe more healing)
will come when I can regard turbulence in life the same way. Turbulence is something you go through – and while
crashes do happen occasionally, the norm is that, even though you go through
the turbulence, it is temporary, and you pass through it with the knowledge that
you are protected and with the expectation that you’ll come out safely on the
other side and continue on to your destination.
And last night, that’s exactly what happened. I wrote those words, and the plane
landed. Yes, I decided to take
supershuttle instead of a taxi, so it took a while to get home, and yes, the
driver was a crazy New York driver, but my peace is upon me, and my healing has
begun.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
An American Tragedy
On Friday, I saw a FB post about children being killed in Newtown, CT. The first thing that entered my mind was BELK (y'all know who you are), who live on New Town Road in a different CT town. After rummaging through my duplicate phone and pc contacts, I finally got hold of B and determined that, although E's mom has some health issues, the kids are ok.
The day went on, full of its own unrelated tragedies. By midafternoon, I didn't feel like going to a holiday party, even though it was to have been one of the increasingly rare (for me now) midtown overindulgent fetes; I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate. A few hours later, I called BELK back on some invented excuse. As I told B, I just wanted to hear the kids' voices. I was in the mood for an evening workout and now, 48 hours later, I'm down 4 lbs and my abs still hurt. That's good.
Part of the reason I'm down some pounds, of course, is that I lay in bed all day yesterday. Despite dozens of papers to grade and a house that has not seen a thorough cleaning since I let my housekeepers go (because they weren't really cleaning it, they were just organizing my clutter. Of course, there may be something to that...) -- despite all that, I stayed in bed all day. Early in the morning my legs were too cramped to try to swim, and as the day wore on -- I guess my body needed the rest.
I had the TV on for much of the day, flipping, as usual, between ID, MSNBC, and NatGeo. MSNBC often held my attention: the governor of CT came out and made a statement, as did the first selectman and as did the medical examiner. They all tried to express and sum up and quantify an indescribable horror that has been visited upon their quaint New England town.
It is horrible. It's horrible whenever a child dies; it's horrible whenever anyone's life is taken away in an untimely manner. It's equally horrible when our young inner city kids have their lives taken away suddenly and tragically. Who mourns for them? Where is the national outcry for them? It's horrible that our mentally ill are no longer able to receive the treatment they need, and end up out on the streets or incarcerated, neither of which is a truly viable alternative. Who mourns for them? Who assists them? Where is the national outcry for them? It's equally horrible that we, a nation built on the idea of rugged individualism, appear to lack the critical facilities to recognize that the second amendment to the Constitution, the one which preserves the right of the people to keep and bear arms (presumably as a corollary to the fact that a well regulated milita is necessary to the security of a free state) may not have the same social context and, by extension application, it did when it was written. It's as if we have lost the ability to contextualize that statement, and cannot recognize the prior, but no longer existing, interdependencies between a well-regulated militia, maintaining the security of a free state, and the right of the people to keep and bear arms. Who mourns for our lack of critical interpretation? Where is the national outcry over that?
Whether I share in my father's emotional traits, or whether I have succumbed to the overstimulation of the city in which I live, I don't know. What I do know is that my reaction to this horror is similar to my reactions in the weeks after 9/11. In the early 2000s, I worked on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue, within sight of St. Patrick's Cathedral. For weeks after 9/11, it seemed that every day there was at least one funeral. There they came up Fifth Avenue, with the kilts and the drums and the bagpipes, walking rhythmically, bagpipes wailing, carrying their dead, uniformed officers lining the streets, and all traffic coming to a halt. There were sometimes one, sometimes two, and sometimes more each day. And there was the overwhelming emotion -- strangers stopping to hug, cry, and pray with one another. Just as there were more and more random acts of kindness, there were also more and more seemingly unprovoked outbursts of tears or other emotions. It just got to be too much for me. My emotions were frayed, and I began to seek solace in the church and in the gym. Each place helped me to channel the emotions until I thought I could control them.
When I first heard the story of the Sandy Hook principal, Dawn Hochsprung, losing her life as she sprang to take the rifle from the gunman's hand, the emotions welled up again inside me, and a trickle seemed to break through the dam. Having become fairly good at dam maintenance, I switched the channel, did some Bible studies, turned off the tv, and/or went to sleep. I didn't make it out of the bed, though. And while I wanted to at least do planks and pushups, I couldn't summon the motivation. Later in the day, when I saw the handmade sign saying "Our Hearts are Broken. Our Spirits are Strong," the dam burst, and the emotions flowed uncontrollably.
I weep for the children who lost their lives and who lost their innocence, and not just those in Newtown, CT. I weep for the children of Harlem and the Bronx who, at the age of 6, know the difference between a firecracker and a gunshot. I weep for the children of New York City who know that even if they are sitting in their homes doing their homework, that they cannot escape the violence of a random bullet. I weep for the people who suffer from mental illness. While I am happy to say I can serve some of them, there are far more whom I cannot serve, and who, falling in between the cracks of our healthcare support system, roam the streets tilting at imaginary windmills, battling imaginary aggressors, until they are either incarcerated, killed, or visit unimaginable horror upon others. I weep for the youth who sincerely want to change their conditions, but have neither opportunity nor direction. I weep and moan that we, a nation, as I said before, built on the idea of rugged individualism, seem to have lost not only the ability to critically review the Constitution, but the simple ability to recognize that assault weapons are instruments of war and have no place in civilian hands. Ever. I weep for our spirits, that in our diversity we appear to have lost our authenticity. Instead of being a place where everyone can come, coexist, and celebrate the beauty of their cultural, ethnic, and religious traditions, the US seems to be headed into a Dali-esque not-quite-melted pot were everyone's cultural, ethnic, and religious traditions are re-molded and re-shaped to fit into some politically correct dynamic that has nothing to do with their genesis. In that remolding and reshaping, we are losing the boundaries of fundamental cultural, ethnic, and religious identities -- as well as the values shaping those identities. We are also losing our collective sense of belonging and our sense of a collective self. I weep that we are becoming, not a nation of individualists so much as a nation of isolated individuals.
Mostly I weep from fear. I fear that we, as a nation, appear to be afflicted with some sort of mass Attention Deficit Disorder. I fear that this, combined with our lack of critical facilities, our lack of values, our lack of opportunities, our lack of care, and our lack of sense of self -- all this lack in the land of plenty -- I fear that this will ultimately derail or detour our conversations for positive change. We may talk about gun control for a couple of months; we may even pass a law banning assault weapons. But will we take a look at our mentally ill? Will we take a look at our cultural celebration of violence? Will we take a look at the systems in place that offer so little in the way of remediation or alternatives for people who aren't part of the homogenous American model? Will our outrage over the Sandy Hook tragedy survive the latest celebrity gossip? Will we still press for gun control or healthcare for the mentally ill if it impacts our bottom lines? Will we ultimately be able to put our partisan differences aside to work together towards solutions for America?
I weep because I'm not sure we can. I pray that I'm wrong, but lately it seems we are degenerating from those things which have made America great. We're experiencing a cultural shift, one that appears to value the payoff of the individual over the good of the many. I pray that we can work together to keep America a great nation, but I'm not sure we can. If we are unable to make this better, that would be the real American tragedy. Because this is the Advent season, because Jesus gives us Hope even in the midst of despair, and because God has promised to keep us even in seasons such as this, I have to end this post with the Hope that America can avert that national tragedy. My hope and faith far exceed my rational beliefset, so perhaps the time for my weeping is done, and the time has come to walk on in hope.
In the meantime, I'ma go do some ab work.
The day went on, full of its own unrelated tragedies. By midafternoon, I didn't feel like going to a holiday party, even though it was to have been one of the increasingly rare (for me now) midtown overindulgent fetes; I just wasn't in the mood to celebrate. A few hours later, I called BELK back on some invented excuse. As I told B, I just wanted to hear the kids' voices. I was in the mood for an evening workout and now, 48 hours later, I'm down 4 lbs and my abs still hurt. That's good.
Part of the reason I'm down some pounds, of course, is that I lay in bed all day yesterday. Despite dozens of papers to grade and a house that has not seen a thorough cleaning since I let my housekeepers go (because they weren't really cleaning it, they were just organizing my clutter. Of course, there may be something to that...) -- despite all that, I stayed in bed all day. Early in the morning my legs were too cramped to try to swim, and as the day wore on -- I guess my body needed the rest.
I had the TV on for much of the day, flipping, as usual, between ID, MSNBC, and NatGeo. MSNBC often held my attention: the governor of CT came out and made a statement, as did the first selectman and as did the medical examiner. They all tried to express and sum up and quantify an indescribable horror that has been visited upon their quaint New England town.
It is horrible. It's horrible whenever a child dies; it's horrible whenever anyone's life is taken away in an untimely manner. It's equally horrible when our young inner city kids have their lives taken away suddenly and tragically. Who mourns for them? Where is the national outcry for them? It's horrible that our mentally ill are no longer able to receive the treatment they need, and end up out on the streets or incarcerated, neither of which is a truly viable alternative. Who mourns for them? Who assists them? Where is the national outcry for them? It's equally horrible that we, a nation built on the idea of rugged individualism, appear to lack the critical facilities to recognize that the second amendment to the Constitution, the one which preserves the right of the people to keep and bear arms (presumably as a corollary to the fact that a well regulated milita is necessary to the security of a free state) may not have the same social context and, by extension application, it did when it was written. It's as if we have lost the ability to contextualize that statement, and cannot recognize the prior, but no longer existing, interdependencies between a well-regulated militia, maintaining the security of a free state, and the right of the people to keep and bear arms. Who mourns for our lack of critical interpretation? Where is the national outcry over that?
Whether I share in my father's emotional traits, or whether I have succumbed to the overstimulation of the city in which I live, I don't know. What I do know is that my reaction to this horror is similar to my reactions in the weeks after 9/11. In the early 2000s, I worked on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue, within sight of St. Patrick's Cathedral. For weeks after 9/11, it seemed that every day there was at least one funeral. There they came up Fifth Avenue, with the kilts and the drums and the bagpipes, walking rhythmically, bagpipes wailing, carrying their dead, uniformed officers lining the streets, and all traffic coming to a halt. There were sometimes one, sometimes two, and sometimes more each day. And there was the overwhelming emotion -- strangers stopping to hug, cry, and pray with one another. Just as there were more and more random acts of kindness, there were also more and more seemingly unprovoked outbursts of tears or other emotions. It just got to be too much for me. My emotions were frayed, and I began to seek solace in the church and in the gym. Each place helped me to channel the emotions until I thought I could control them.
When I first heard the story of the Sandy Hook principal, Dawn Hochsprung, losing her life as she sprang to take the rifle from the gunman's hand, the emotions welled up again inside me, and a trickle seemed to break through the dam. Having become fairly good at dam maintenance, I switched the channel, did some Bible studies, turned off the tv, and/or went to sleep. I didn't make it out of the bed, though. And while I wanted to at least do planks and pushups, I couldn't summon the motivation. Later in the day, when I saw the handmade sign saying "Our Hearts are Broken. Our Spirits are Strong," the dam burst, and the emotions flowed uncontrollably.
I weep for the children who lost their lives and who lost their innocence, and not just those in Newtown, CT. I weep for the children of Harlem and the Bronx who, at the age of 6, know the difference between a firecracker and a gunshot. I weep for the children of New York City who know that even if they are sitting in their homes doing their homework, that they cannot escape the violence of a random bullet. I weep for the people who suffer from mental illness. While I am happy to say I can serve some of them, there are far more whom I cannot serve, and who, falling in between the cracks of our healthcare support system, roam the streets tilting at imaginary windmills, battling imaginary aggressors, until they are either incarcerated, killed, or visit unimaginable horror upon others. I weep for the youth who sincerely want to change their conditions, but have neither opportunity nor direction. I weep and moan that we, a nation, as I said before, built on the idea of rugged individualism, seem to have lost not only the ability to critically review the Constitution, but the simple ability to recognize that assault weapons are instruments of war and have no place in civilian hands. Ever. I weep for our spirits, that in our diversity we appear to have lost our authenticity. Instead of being a place where everyone can come, coexist, and celebrate the beauty of their cultural, ethnic, and religious traditions, the US seems to be headed into a Dali-esque not-quite-melted pot were everyone's cultural, ethnic, and religious traditions are re-molded and re-shaped to fit into some politically correct dynamic that has nothing to do with their genesis. In that remolding and reshaping, we are losing the boundaries of fundamental cultural, ethnic, and religious identities -- as well as the values shaping those identities. We are also losing our collective sense of belonging and our sense of a collective self. I weep that we are becoming, not a nation of individualists so much as a nation of isolated individuals.
Mostly I weep from fear. I fear that we, as a nation, appear to be afflicted with some sort of mass Attention Deficit Disorder. I fear that this, combined with our lack of critical facilities, our lack of values, our lack of opportunities, our lack of care, and our lack of sense of self -- all this lack in the land of plenty -- I fear that this will ultimately derail or detour our conversations for positive change. We may talk about gun control for a couple of months; we may even pass a law banning assault weapons. But will we take a look at our mentally ill? Will we take a look at our cultural celebration of violence? Will we take a look at the systems in place that offer so little in the way of remediation or alternatives for people who aren't part of the homogenous American model? Will our outrage over the Sandy Hook tragedy survive the latest celebrity gossip? Will we still press for gun control or healthcare for the mentally ill if it impacts our bottom lines? Will we ultimately be able to put our partisan differences aside to work together towards solutions for America?
I weep because I'm not sure we can. I pray that I'm wrong, but lately it seems we are degenerating from those things which have made America great. We're experiencing a cultural shift, one that appears to value the payoff of the individual over the good of the many. I pray that we can work together to keep America a great nation, but I'm not sure we can. If we are unable to make this better, that would be the real American tragedy. Because this is the Advent season, because Jesus gives us Hope even in the midst of despair, and because God has promised to keep us even in seasons such as this, I have to end this post with the Hope that America can avert that national tragedy. My hope and faith far exceed my rational beliefset, so perhaps the time for my weeping is done, and the time has come to walk on in hope.
In the meantime, I'ma go do some ab work.