somebody help ...

We're in the midst of an audit of our entire agency. Additionally, one program had a 5 million dollar budget that hasn't been reconciled, so I need to find documentation and give an accounting. The task wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that our records have been shredded and/or thrown into complete disarray. But it's all good, I'm stepping up to the plate, and slowly but surely we're making progress.

This afternoon, while I'm on a call with a funder, I see one of our staffpeople calling me. She later called our finance head, who transferred the call to me. The issue: one person went out in the rain, got soaked, and didn't want the AC on. The person who called me wanted the AC on. At this point, I'm ready to can everyone in the program. I love it that they got me a cute little pig and I love it that they were willing to pitch in when I asked, but I can't tolerate the fact that they're behaving like 4-year olds. No, wait. Four-year olds learn how to share and how to cooperate. These people are acting like two-year olds. NO!! ME!! NO!! ME!!

It makes me wonder -- about their leadership, about their judgement, and about their ability to effectively provide services to our clients. If this is the level at which they cope with one another, how can they possibly help people in legitimate life crises? Once we wade through the financial spaghetti that is this organization, I'm going to have to bring in someone to evaluate my programs and my directors. I'm just not feeling the things I've seen so far. Again, for lack of vision, the people perish.

On a more positive note, I have received an email, and Fedex tracking shows that my iphone 4 was delivered at 1:45 this afternoon. Interestingly, as soon as I saw it had been delivered, I lost interest. I used to say, "it's not the prey, it's the play." Appears the same is true, just in different contexts.

I love my job. It's challenging, but at the end of the day, there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that you're trying to help people. My mother used to say that she thought I just liked helping people. Even though my spiritual gifts inventories never show the gift of helps, but it's something I enjoy.

Until, of course, the reality that is humans starts to piss me off.