A Charge To Keep, I Have

In another forum, a member posted a quote from this old standard, "A charge to keep I have, A God to glorify, A never-dying soul to save, And fit it for the sky."

That song is soooo appropriate for me right now.  It's the end of the year, and the press of contract compliance is upon me.  It's another year where incomes remain flat but expenses continue to rise.  I literally got into my car the other day, lifted my hand to the ceiling, and said "Lord, I don't think I can keep doing this."

Then, it seems, a tiny bit more Grace was imparted to me, and I was able to start the car and drive to my next destination.  Which was my kettlebell class.

There's nothing like throwing an off-center iron ball around -- picking it up, putting it down,  cleaning it, snatching it, swinging it, and pressing it -- to get your mind off whatever was ailing you.  When you're throwing around 10-15 lbs of cast iron, you begin to focus on how your body supports it, and how it comes back to your body.  John and Jane and their issues aren't really on the horizon.

So it is, or should be, in our Christian walk.  The kettlebell is difficult, but at the end of the day it makes us stronger, leaner, more powerful, and more flexible.  It's the same way with God's Word in our lives.  It's difficult to hold up God's Word. It's difficult to wield God's Word in our lives.  Right now, I'm angry, annoyed, feeling let down, probably more than a little bitchy (I think "petulant" would be an accurate polite description).  These feelings are all the result of personal character defects or shortcomings, and all of them could be addressed by my intentionally applying God's Word in my life.

Which I do on a regular basis.  But just like when I lifted and did cardio on machines, it was a good workout, but sometimes we need an INTENSE workout.  Kettlebells engage every muscle of the body, dynamically, in a short period of time.  Perhaps I need a spiritual intensive to engage every bit of my spiritual being, intensely, either over a short period of time or over the longer haul. 

What I know is that my spiritual body needs to be nurtured and fed more, and what I'm able to do on my own isn't working.  I pray, study, and teach, but that's not enough.  I have a charge to keep, a God to glorify, so I've got to press on to higher heights.  Just like I get special food for my physical body, perhaps I should consider special food for my spiritual body.  Perhaps I need some sort of spiritual concentrate to help process everything I need to be taking in.

I don't know.  I just know that I have work to do, and the way I'm feeling now, while valid, is not my best self, and it's not conducive to the work I have to do.  I don't want to linger in these feelings, and I certainly don't want to act on them.  A charge to keep, I have; a God to Glorify.

Lord, I need you......