Not Weary...

So I'm in a bit of a mood today.  Computer issues, combined with an increasingly troublesome propensity towards OCD behavior, kept me up until 3 am.  I've discovered that prescription sleep meds will help me to go to sleep but don't keep me asleep, so I was awake at 7.  I had the good sense to stay in bed until 10, but (more OCD symptoms) find I don't rest well when my house is messy. 

Which means I seldom get a good rest.  I ain't complaining -- I'm above ground when the doctors thought I wouldn't be, so I'm happy.  And I have a great life -- I run a company that actually tries to help people.  I teach preachers.  I help people explore God's Word for themselves. I get awesome physical workouts.  And I'm tired.

It's an honor to be selected for worship leader when the Bishop comes to town.  But could someone have told me that you had a color theme earlier than four days before the event?  And really, BROWN and IVORY?  I'm a fairly conservative dresser, and that combo is a bit too bland for me.  I don't particularly care for either color; my ivory suits are -- somewhere, and I have a brownish suit and an ivory collar, but they are both way too big.  Oh, well.  I'll do my best.  Brown and Ivory.  Hallelujer.

It's my practice to not write about my business life on my personal blog, but I have to say that my employees, as dear as they can be, are making me tired.  I often feel like I'm the Mother of the Council rather than the Executive Director.  I know we're all doing a lot of awesome things with a little resources; that does not, IMHO, relieve us from the requirement to do and be excellence.  If I can't pay you more money, then at least I want you to develop skills so that next year you have more in your arsenal than you had last year.  I want them to be better, stronger, and more equipped.  It seems all they want to do is find a comfortable spot and stay there.  That doesn't work for me, and I hate having to use the stick to prod people for results. 

I recently tried doing "attaboys," "Job Well Dones" and "Gold Stars,"  various little ways to acknowledge people who went above and beyond their job descriptions.  Within a couple of days, it became a competition.  The focus shifted from "how can I do things better" to "what does it take to get a reward?" 

A friend wrote a post the other day and quoted Galatians 6:9.  My pastor preached from that text on Sunday, so I'm gonna copy in the passage from 7 to 10:


7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

So I'm not going to become weary in doing good -- and it's not because of the harvest to come.  If I never receive another blessing in this life, I've already been doubly blessed, so I need to keep on simply because God has given me the ability to do so.

I'm really off today, and solicit your prayers.  I think what's happening is that we're entering a period of growth.  Growth oftentimes involves tearing down things that are older or weaker so they can be strengthened.  I have to remember that.

And I have six crises and an accountant waiting for me, a head that's dizzy from not having had time to eat, and a monster workout coming up tonight, so I'ma go handle my business.  My small step for today is that I got disturbing news, took a breath, and responded appropriately.  It's not that hard.  I get to dodging darts and arrows and sometimes lose my focus, but I just gotta remember Who's really in charge.  It ain't me....

So. I'm going to nourish my Spirit and my body.  I'm going to continue to do my job, which I do fairly well,. and I'm not going to weary in it or any of the other work I do. 

I just got hit with 20 pages of contracts.  I'm not going to become weary.  I'm not going to become weary. I'm not going to become weary....