So tonight was the last class session of our Church History II class. Students never cease to amaze me. For an entire year I've pushed and prodded them, all the while having to manage my own feelings when my comments clashed with their own sense of their abilities. But as the year went on, I began to see the development of their historical and scholarly voices, which, of course, was my objective.
So this evening, I was asked to close the class in prayer. Before we could do that, the class wanted to interrupt. They presented the professor (who's also the President of the Seminary) with a gorgeous plaque and a card. They gave me a plant, a card, and a keychain, and gave a card and keychain to the other TA.
I was reminded of my old plant, Fred, who died when I got cancer. I now have a new plant, but haven't named it. The plant I have is so big there's no room in the window to put the new plant; the upside is that I have pots in all different sizes for when it starts to grow up.
The present for teaching is the gift of seeing your students learn. The plant and card were completely unexpected, and sheer gravy. It gives me indescribable joy to watch my students work and learn. It's just wonderful. It sorta reminds me of the rocks my staff gave me at our retreat (they were labeled Peace, Hope, Wisdom, and Joy). But they're from my staff, and there are different dynamics going on there.
But as they students gave me the plant and I thought of my current and former plants, I realized that my motto used to be "Plant, pet, partner," meaning that once I could successfully care for a plant, I'd think of graduating to a pet, and after that I'd be ready to consider a partner (Jay Leno has had on a cheetah, some owls, the world's longest lizard, and some otters. Cute animals). As I thought about that declaration, (simultaneously trying to figure out what pot to put the new plant into, and where to put it so it can get enough light, and "I wonder what kind of plant this is and how do I really need to care for it?") As I thought about all that, I realized I've successfully cared for a plant, and, according to my declaration, could now move on to "pet."
Except that I'm so not ready for a pet. I can commit to plants because they don't really do anything (and while it's sorta trained me, pretty much all I have to do with this plant is water and feed it occasionally). But I played with my neighbor's puppy for an hour on Sunday, and don't think I'm ready for a pet. I love dogs, but you sorta have to have a consistent schedule. I think it's inhumane to keep a "pet" locked up in a house all day and only walk them when you're home. I just think it's wrong. And I don't think my apartment is big enough for a dog to have fun in, unless I wanted to put the Animal Channel on all day and let them watch it.
Nah, I'm not yet ready for a pet. And I have no idea why people are attracted to partners. I like people well enough -- I love people, actually -- as long as they get the heck outta my house after about an hour. Even when I'm ape$#!+ crazy over someone, the idea of being around themm all the time doesn't appeal to me. Maybe I'm weird, but I think there's a certain attraction brought on by distance. And it's hard enough for me to clean up after myself. There is no way in God's world I could clean up after another human being. And when I want people to clean up after me, I pay them to do so. They don't have to live with me.
Some people seem to crave companionship, and seem unable to function without it. I don't get that. It's like the people who say to their mates "you complete me." Um, so you weren't complete by yourself?
Even as a kid, when I used to design houses in the shape of my initials (no room for taking on a man's surname there; and I never even thought about it until right now) -- even when I used to design houses as a big C circling a G with a P coming off the lip of the G -- even then, I had three marital bedrooms: one for me, one for my husband, and one for us to share. I must have been eight or ten, with no idea about sex or sexuality, but even at that age, I couldn't conceive of sleeping with the same person every night. Also at that age, I figured it didn't make sense to marry before age 35. I figured that if the average lifespan was 70 (and that's what I thought it was when I was young. I just checked: it was 69.7 when I was four, and 70.8 when I was fourteen) -- I figured if the average lifespan was 70, then why in the world would anyone want to get married before at least 35? In my young eyes, marriage was a voluntary, lifelong commitment people decided to make. Divorce was not an option.
But in the last half decade, things have changed immensely. My parents are but two of the people I have known who are divorced. I have successfully cared for one plant, and will now start on a second one. I no longer have pets, and have decided I'm ready for neither a pet nor a partner, though the thought of a pet is much more appealing than the thought of a partner.
And I still love presents! I love the ones that are nicely gift-wrapped, but am increasingly aware that every day I wake up is a gift, every movement or breath I take is a gift, the ability to know and love my Creator is a wonderful gift, and everything else is gravy.
I started a kettlebell class the other night. Now, I thought I was in decent shape: I lift, I did the elliptical for as long as my knees allowed, I swim and do some sort of aqua-cardio-aerobics class. But that kettlebell class had me feeling like an out of shape sixth grader. When I got to class, there were no more 10 lb bells, so I took a 15 lb one. BIG mistake. Before the class was over, my shirt was soaked with sweat, I could barely move, and I had a bruise on my wrist from where the bell flipped over and hit my Tiffany bracelet, which (the action) caused an ugly bruise on my arm.
Tomorrow night, I'll try to take off the bracelet and maybe go to Modell's and get some sort of pad for the back of my wrist. Because it's a gift to be able to swing a kettlebell around and not lose the grip or not have it flip over and break my arm. Yup, it's all a gift, one for which I am eternally grateful!!!
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