Tonight as I walked home from the Liberty game, I wondered if perhaps the $8.00 sausage I'd bought might have been undercooked. I was proudly walking around with my Liberty jersey on, smiling to myself that I'd managed to score a personalized one (02, Perry) for only $35.00 instead of the normal $50.00. I saw my season ticket rep at the Garden and made plans to attend the seasonticketholder affair down at the water taxi site in mid-August.
And then I saw her. She was an older woman, probably in her 60s or 70s. She looked disheveled, perhaps a little dirty, but not filthy. She didn't appear to be out of her right mind; she appeared to be numb. Perhaps it was because she was sitting on the corner of 118th and Madison, with what appeared to be all her worldly belongings, in a shopping cart beside her.
I was touched with compasssion. I live alone, have two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and two flat panel TVs. I certainly have more than I need. Wouldn't it be the Christian thing to share? But sharing was not a possibility. I wasn't about to invite a homeless person into my house, not even to take a shower.
I wonder if this makes me a less devout Christian? I wonder where the responsibility to preserve one's own life and wellbeing ends and the responsibility to help one's neighbor begins? In theory, at least, they are one and the same -- as I lift up my neighbor, I also am lifted up. But in practice, it's not that way.
I don't know how to walk in the world as a Christian all the time. I generally stand on my convictions, but I believe Jesus calls us to something higher, and I feel like I failed at that today. I'm not so sure Jesus would have been happy about me taking in the homeless, but didn't he do the equivalent? Am I that far removed?
This isn't going at all the way I thought it would, so I'm going to end it here for now.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
The unfortunate case of An American, Shirley Sherrod
A USDA worker, Shirley Sherrod, speaks before a group and talks about her past in a racially unjust country, and about the things she had to go through in order to extend fair and equitable assistance to a white person. Some vile and unethical reporter posts and edited version of her remarks, one that only includes her struggles with her feelings around the racial inequity, it goes viral, and the poor woman is fired from her job.
Once the facts are determined, she's offered an apology. She's not offered her old job back, but another job with the USDA. What I don't understand is how a government employee could be summarily dismissed from her job without the benefit of due process, and without even the opportunity to address or defend herself from the charges against her. It's as if we live in the 1950s, but instead of the enemy being communism, it's now racism.
Any hint of racism, any suggestion of racism, is immediate grounds for being excised from American political life. Yet some individuals with incredibly narrow minds, whose ideas and opinions smack of racism, are in the media, assigned either to report or comment on current events. How can the utterances from their mouths (or writings from their blogs) be regarded as truthful? Why are they assumed to be? What has happened to the process of checking facts before passing them on?
In many instances, Americans seem to possess a lemming-like mentality. We unquestioningly follow the group, against the tide of reason, on to our collective death. We are a people who say we value freedom and individuality, yet in one of the most vital human arenas, that of the mind, we show ourselves to be merely mindless facsimiles of whatever is the latest or most sensational bit of news.
There appears to be a national intellectual erosion -- as a nation, we don't exhibit a fondness for math or the hard sciences like we used to, but we don't exhibit a fondness for philosophy, theology, or the discipline of the mind like we once did. It seems we're all flash -- our news is dominated by celebrity gossip, but we know little of the lives of average people beyond our borders. We cling to news about European style and fashion, while few of our children could locate European countries on a map. We hang on the antics of American sports stars, but other than when the US is a contender in the World Cup, know or care very little about the two most popular sports in the world (soccer and cricket).
For most of the time she existed, America was so incredibly prosperous, she could afford to live in a self-absorbed vacuum. The world is smaller now, and the cost of ignoring (or not being mindful of) one's neighbors is higher and higher. At some point, it seems to me, we have to buckle down and get to the basics: we have to learn to read and write and count. We have to learn to play together. We have to learn to be honest. We have to learn not to tell untruths and not to spread things we know to be untruthful. Perhaps we don't have to love one another, but we have to learn to treat one another with dignity and respect, understanding that they may look quite different than our preconceived notions of them.
I still think it's a wonderful thing to be an American, but I wonder what Ms. Sherrod's take is on it? I wonder what unthinkable atrocity we will next commit to continue to erode the meaning of that wonderful thing of being an American. I wonder how close we are to plunging over the cliff from sane and civil behavior, to a mindless plunge into the waters of self-absorbed national ignorance.
Once the facts are determined, she's offered an apology. She's not offered her old job back, but another job with the USDA. What I don't understand is how a government employee could be summarily dismissed from her job without the benefit of due process, and without even the opportunity to address or defend herself from the charges against her. It's as if we live in the 1950s, but instead of the enemy being communism, it's now racism.
Any hint of racism, any suggestion of racism, is immediate grounds for being excised from American political life. Yet some individuals with incredibly narrow minds, whose ideas and opinions smack of racism, are in the media, assigned either to report or comment on current events. How can the utterances from their mouths (or writings from their blogs) be regarded as truthful? Why are they assumed to be? What has happened to the process of checking facts before passing them on?
In many instances, Americans seem to possess a lemming-like mentality. We unquestioningly follow the group, against the tide of reason, on to our collective death. We are a people who say we value freedom and individuality, yet in one of the most vital human arenas, that of the mind, we show ourselves to be merely mindless facsimiles of whatever is the latest or most sensational bit of news.
There appears to be a national intellectual erosion -- as a nation, we don't exhibit a fondness for math or the hard sciences like we used to, but we don't exhibit a fondness for philosophy, theology, or the discipline of the mind like we once did. It seems we're all flash -- our news is dominated by celebrity gossip, but we know little of the lives of average people beyond our borders. We cling to news about European style and fashion, while few of our children could locate European countries on a map. We hang on the antics of American sports stars, but other than when the US is a contender in the World Cup, know or care very little about the two most popular sports in the world (soccer and cricket).
For most of the time she existed, America was so incredibly prosperous, she could afford to live in a self-absorbed vacuum. The world is smaller now, and the cost of ignoring (or not being mindful of) one's neighbors is higher and higher. At some point, it seems to me, we have to buckle down and get to the basics: we have to learn to read and write and count. We have to learn to play together. We have to learn to be honest. We have to learn not to tell untruths and not to spread things we know to be untruthful. Perhaps we don't have to love one another, but we have to learn to treat one another with dignity and respect, understanding that they may look quite different than our preconceived notions of them.
I still think it's a wonderful thing to be an American, but I wonder what Ms. Sherrod's take is on it? I wonder what unthinkable atrocity we will next commit to continue to erode the meaning of that wonderful thing of being an American. I wonder how close we are to plunging over the cliff from sane and civil behavior, to a mindless plunge into the waters of self-absorbed national ignorance.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Mediocrity
As much as I can be lazy and take the easy way out, I want to think that, as I've grown older, I've learned the truth of the adage "anything worth doing is worth doing well." Personally, there's a certain sense of joy tht comes from giving something your best shot.
Maybe I'm kinda anal, but it bothers me when I go to others for information and I get sloppy or shoddy work. It indicates either a lack of ability or a lack of interest.
Oh, well. Not a lot I can do to change that. Yet. Eventually I hope to create an environment where mediocrity is not encouraged, but that environment doesn't yet exist.
On another note, the Liberty are having their subscriber event on August 11. It's at the South Street Seaport. So I guess that's the date by when I need to make a decision whether I'm signing up for next year. Which I've already decided that yes, I'm doing.
It's late, very long day, calling it a nite.
Maybe I'm kinda anal, but it bothers me when I go to others for information and I get sloppy or shoddy work. It indicates either a lack of ability or a lack of interest.
Oh, well. Not a lot I can do to change that. Yet. Eventually I hope to create an environment where mediocrity is not encouraged, but that environment doesn't yet exist.
On another note, the Liberty are having their subscriber event on August 11. It's at the South Street Seaport. So I guess that's the date by when I need to make a decision whether I'm signing up for next year. Which I've already decided that yes, I'm doing.
It's late, very long day, calling it a nite.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Cripples
This morning's bus ride was unusually long. It seemed the driver stopped at every block along 125th street to let a wheelchair passenger on or off. As I look around my communities of Harlem and the South Bronx, it occurs to me that there are inordinate numbers of people in wheelchairs, scooters, and other mobility assistance devices.
In a conversation yesterday, we talked about this, and about how many of the people are just lazy -- I saw a woman get off the bus in her wheelchair, then get out of the wheelchair, light up her cigarette, and proceed to push the wheelchair down the street. I'm not in her chair, and shouldn't judge her mobility. I guess I resent having to make special concessions for someone's health condition when they show by their smoking that they don't care about their health conditions.
But aren't we all crippled in some way? If we look at one another, we can always see imperfections, perhaps insurmountable ones. And if we're looking to God or assuming that God is looking at us, God must be wringing God's hands at God's children -- some of who have not learned any better, some who know but do not do any better, all of whom appear crippled in spirit to the Loving God who made us.
And yet God allows us to live. Maybe I should let the cripples live in peace,. too. Maybe it doesn't matter if they're crippled in body, mind, or spirit -- maybe the point is that, no matter how crippled they may seem to me, I seem infinitely more crippled to God, who still blesses me. Daily. Maybe there's a lesson in there.....
In a conversation yesterday, we talked about this, and about how many of the people are just lazy -- I saw a woman get off the bus in her wheelchair, then get out of the wheelchair, light up her cigarette, and proceed to push the wheelchair down the street. I'm not in her chair, and shouldn't judge her mobility. I guess I resent having to make special concessions for someone's health condition when they show by their smoking that they don't care about their health conditions.
But aren't we all crippled in some way? If we look at one another, we can always see imperfections, perhaps insurmountable ones. And if we're looking to God or assuming that God is looking at us, God must be wringing God's hands at God's children -- some of who have not learned any better, some who know but do not do any better, all of whom appear crippled in spirit to the Loving God who made us.
And yet God allows us to live. Maybe I should let the cripples live in peace,. too. Maybe it doesn't matter if they're crippled in body, mind, or spirit -- maybe the point is that, no matter how crippled they may seem to me, I seem infinitely more crippled to God, who still blesses me. Daily. Maybe there's a lesson in there.....
Monday, July 19, 2010
God with us?
Overheard two people talking in the local bodega, and it occurred to me that I live in a neighborhood where either people distrust the establishment so much that they don't believe ads, or else they don't realize how bad smoking is for their health.
It also occurs to me that once upon a time in our communities of color, our faith in God was what got us through. It seems that now we've abandoned that faith in God. We have faith in the dollar, faith in basketball, even sometimes faith in each other, but faith in God?!?!? No way.
But it's inside that faith that our collective salvation can be found. I'm not talking just about salvation from our sins, but salvation for the world.
I want to write more, but have been extremely tired lately. I'm a little anemic, but it feels like something else is going on. So I'm not going to write; I'm going to bed.
It also occurs to me that once upon a time in our communities of color, our faith in God was what got us through. It seems that now we've abandoned that faith in God. We have faith in the dollar, faith in basketball, even sometimes faith in each other, but faith in God?!?!? No way.
But it's inside that faith that our collective salvation can be found. I'm not talking just about salvation from our sins, but salvation for the world.
I want to write more, but have been extremely tired lately. I'm a little anemic, but it feels like something else is going on. So I'm not going to write; I'm going to bed.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I hate Apple. I just hate them
Because I have an addictive personality, I drank the Koolaid and bought the iPhone 4. HUGE mistake. It's not even the fact that the phone drops calls half the time I use it, even when it's IN the case. No, what I hate about Apple is that, every time I plug in my iPhone, which is as infrequently as possible, there's an OS or software update that usually ends up taking the better part of an evening. I just HATE, HATE, HATE Apple for that. I always think it's my equipment, and switch from wireless to wired, end up rebooting my cable box and my router, only to find that, no, it's APPLE'S crappy servers that are slow.
But it's Sunday nite, so I'll let it sit and hope it doesn't crash out, which it's done the last 4 or 5 times I've tried to update.
On a much more positive note, the Liberty went 81-84 in OT against the Fever. Even though the Liberty didn't have the highest score, I can't say they lost the game. It was a GREAT game, and though there's always room for improvement, the Ladies played well.
Left MSG and went to JCPenny's. (While I'm connected to Google and posting this blog, the crappy Apple servers timed out again. Apple tells me there's something wrong with my internet connection. Funny, it's only the connection to APPLE that's bad....) Anyway, I'm in this quest for a bra that lifts and separates. Even though Pam knows some place on Madison Avenue that measures and fits you, the bras are rumored to cost about $100.00 each. One of the advantages of being smaller is that I can now buy and wear clothes that cost smaller. So I ventured up to Target and got some, but they don't have the side enclosures that I like. I like Playtex Just My Size, and now, even though I'm at the lower end of the ranges, (Apple timed out again. I just published this post to confirm it's not my internet connection. APPLE SUCKS!!! APPLE SUCKS!!! APPLE JUST SUCKS!!! If I ever talk about buying another iPhone, somebody please shoot me in the head? Please? If you're my friend, just shoot me in the head rather than let me buy anything else by apple, because they just SUCK!!!!!)
So now, even though I'm at the lower end of the ranges, I still am comfortable in the Just My Size series. So of course that series is being discontinued. Playtex has some cheap molded, underwire crappy bras that look horrible. Of course I picked up a couple of them. They were priced at $30.00 each, with a buy 2 get 1 free sale. While turning the section upside down to find 3 in my size, I found the Just My Size ones, and snatched a couple of them up. When I went to the register (because I've finally learned that the sale signs are always wrong), I found that the JMS bras were, of course, not on sale. Instead, they were a ridiculously low 12.99!! I spent years buying them at twice that price, so I was happy.
Oh. While I was in MSG, I stopped at Krispy Kreme. I stop there every time the Liberty plays at home.)I wanted to get a half dozen raspberry filled doughnuts. While I was in line, I saw this guy munching on doughnuts with an Auntie Annie's pretzel bag in his hand. What was interesting about him was even though he was a little heavy, his stomach looked like he was about 8 and a half months pregnant with triplets. Anymore, I look at large people eating as a reminder of where I've come from and where I don't want to return to. Yeah, I got a coupla donuts, not a half dozen. When I got home, I took a bite of one and put the other one away.
The cool thing is that I went to the Apple store to see when they'd have the free bumpers they talk about. Of course, it's something that'll get figured out and done on line sometime. Nice people, but completely useless. I come outside the store and there is a street vendor. He's got a case that has the correct cutouts and would fit the iPhone 4, and is the exact design I want. I ask how much. He addresses me as sir and tells me it's $10.00. I tell him he should give me $3.00 off for calling me a guy. He apologizes profusely and offers to give it to me for free. I acknowledge that he's a businessman and give him $5.00, letting him know that for a deal like that, he can call me "sir" any time. It was a great transaction -- I wouldn't have felt right taking it from him for free, and even thought they're cheap knockoffs, the one I have for the 3G has lasted for years. The 4G case, like the phone, is smaller and sleeker. It does look good. If only it worked as good as it looked!
I have to prepare a sermon to preach in North Carolina, and this week I have to complete and submit a budget for a program at work. As I was coming home on the train, I realized that one day I would like to preach on the subways. Here's how I'd like to do it. I'd like to enter a subway car, do 10 pullups, then announce something like "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not crazy. I do this because I can. Yesterday I celebrated my 60th (or maybe 55th!) birthday.
I'm Christian, and I came to tell you that happen to believe that stuff about Jesus Christ coming into the world so we could have life more abundantly. It's really working for me, and my desire is that it will work for you, too.
God bless you, and heaven smile upon you."
Maybe I could have a little card or brochure or something, telling them about being a cancer survivor as well. It seems to me that we preachers are supposed to share the GOOD NEWS of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; in my mind, it doesn't necessarily include beating people up -- it's more about encouraging them and sharing the love. I know preachers who dispute that, but hey, this is the message I want to share with the voice God has given to ME.
But it's Sunday nite, so I'll let it sit and hope it doesn't crash out, which it's done the last 4 or 5 times I've tried to update.
On a much more positive note, the Liberty went 81-84 in OT against the Fever. Even though the Liberty didn't have the highest score, I can't say they lost the game. It was a GREAT game, and though there's always room for improvement, the Ladies played well.
Left MSG and went to JCPenny's. (While I'm connected to Google and posting this blog, the crappy Apple servers timed out again. Apple tells me there's something wrong with my internet connection. Funny, it's only the connection to APPLE that's bad....) Anyway, I'm in this quest for a bra that lifts and separates. Even though Pam knows some place on Madison Avenue that measures and fits you, the bras are rumored to cost about $100.00 each. One of the advantages of being smaller is that I can now buy and wear clothes that cost smaller. So I ventured up to Target and got some, but they don't have the side enclosures that I like. I like Playtex Just My Size, and now, even though I'm at the lower end of the ranges, (Apple timed out again. I just published this post to confirm it's not my internet connection. APPLE SUCKS!!! APPLE SUCKS!!! APPLE JUST SUCKS!!! If I ever talk about buying another iPhone, somebody please shoot me in the head? Please? If you're my friend, just shoot me in the head rather than let me buy anything else by apple, because they just SUCK!!!!!)
So now, even though I'm at the lower end of the ranges, I still am comfortable in the Just My Size series. So of course that series is being discontinued. Playtex has some cheap molded, underwire crappy bras that look horrible. Of course I picked up a couple of them. They were priced at $30.00 each, with a buy 2 get 1 free sale. While turning the section upside down to find 3 in my size, I found the Just My Size ones, and snatched a couple of them up. When I went to the register (because I've finally learned that the sale signs are always wrong), I found that the JMS bras were, of course, not on sale. Instead, they were a ridiculously low 12.99!! I spent years buying them at twice that price, so I was happy.
Oh. While I was in MSG, I stopped at Krispy Kreme. I stop there every time the Liberty plays at home.)I wanted to get a half dozen raspberry filled doughnuts. While I was in line, I saw this guy munching on doughnuts with an Auntie Annie's pretzel bag in his hand. What was interesting about him was even though he was a little heavy, his stomach looked like he was about 8 and a half months pregnant with triplets. Anymore, I look at large people eating as a reminder of where I've come from and where I don't want to return to. Yeah, I got a coupla donuts, not a half dozen. When I got home, I took a bite of one and put the other one away.
The cool thing is that I went to the Apple store to see when they'd have the free bumpers they talk about. Of course, it's something that'll get figured out and done on line sometime. Nice people, but completely useless. I come outside the store and there is a street vendor. He's got a case that has the correct cutouts and would fit the iPhone 4, and is the exact design I want. I ask how much. He addresses me as sir and tells me it's $10.00. I tell him he should give me $3.00 off for calling me a guy. He apologizes profusely and offers to give it to me for free. I acknowledge that he's a businessman and give him $5.00, letting him know that for a deal like that, he can call me "sir" any time. It was a great transaction -- I wouldn't have felt right taking it from him for free, and even thought they're cheap knockoffs, the one I have for the 3G has lasted for years. The 4G case, like the phone, is smaller and sleeker. It does look good. If only it worked as good as it looked!
I have to prepare a sermon to preach in North Carolina, and this week I have to complete and submit a budget for a program at work. As I was coming home on the train, I realized that one day I would like to preach on the subways. Here's how I'd like to do it. I'd like to enter a subway car, do 10 pullups, then announce something like "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not crazy. I do this because I can. Yesterday I celebrated my 60th (or maybe 55th!) birthday.
I'm Christian, and I came to tell you that happen to believe that stuff about Jesus Christ coming into the world so we could have life more abundantly. It's really working for me, and my desire is that it will work for you, too.
God bless you, and heaven smile upon you."
Maybe I could have a little card or brochure or something, telling them about being a cancer survivor as well. It seems to me that we preachers are supposed to share the GOOD NEWS of the Gospel of Jesus Christ; in my mind, it doesn't necessarily include beating people up -- it's more about encouraging them and sharing the love. I know preachers who dispute that, but hey, this is the message I want to share with the voice God has given to ME.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sat/Sun, July 17/18
Today's post is overnight,l so I'm taking two days. Got up this morning and went to water aerobics. The new girl, Roxanne, is kinda ditzy and not as focused as Nicole. Still she's there, she has her own game plan, and just because she does her aerobics differently, doesn't mean they're any less valid. The classes are certainly worth getting up for on Saturday mornings.
Thought I'd hook up with Pam and run some errands, but she never answered her phone. I went up to Target and found three bras (see tomorrow's post), none of which fitted the way I wanted them to when I got home. Then I went down to Whole Foods to get some Indian, then went back to the church because I felt bad that only a few little old ladies were there. Yeah, they were there, but to me it looked like they were helping themselves to the food. They were piling up boxes of food, eating rib dinners, packing up food to go, and steadily charging the matriarch of the church $0.75 for a soda, or telling her there were no more ribs and then putting them on the plate they were going to take home. While I understand people might want a little something something for working on that lot all day, they need to be clear whether they're working for God or for Ribs. They can't work for both. I think much of the congregation sees the hoarding of food (or the lack of accountability with the proceeeds) and that's why no one supports them any more.
It was very sad for me to see because every one of the ladies working the lot showed swelling of the ankles and other extremities. That indicates at least mild heart failure, yet they come out week after week, unhealthy in body (so who knows the status of their minds and spirits), endeavoring to do things they believe will upbuild the Kindgom --- except the Scriptures say Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and HIS Righteousness, and all else will be added unto you. I can't help but think that if we sought God's face IN OUR DECISION MAKING, that perhaps God would have some input into our decisions.
So anyway, I already took my Ambien and am half asleep. If you read this blog before I came back and edited it, you know that. But I made a slammin scramble with 3 slices of ham, EVOO, fried up the ham and threw in onions til they gave up their sweat. Blended some egg whites and some soymilk til it started to bubble, but not too much. Kept the fire hot, and poured the eggs into the meat mixture. Let set briefly, then scrambled so it didn't set completely. When they'd cooked, blended in cherry cheese. When this had blended in, garnished it with aaiago/parmesan blend. Added hot sauce and red pepper to taste. When done, heated up a small tortilla. Put chipotle mayo on it, and then put the egg mixture on it. Garnish it with hot sauce, rolled it up and ate it. Worked for me...
Thought I'd hook up with Pam and run some errands, but she never answered her phone. I went up to Target and found three bras (see tomorrow's post), none of which fitted the way I wanted them to when I got home. Then I went down to Whole Foods to get some Indian, then went back to the church because I felt bad that only a few little old ladies were there. Yeah, they were there, but to me it looked like they were helping themselves to the food. They were piling up boxes of food, eating rib dinners, packing up food to go, and steadily charging the matriarch of the church $0.75 for a soda, or telling her there were no more ribs and then putting them on the plate they were going to take home. While I understand people might want a little something something for working on that lot all day, they need to be clear whether they're working for God or for Ribs. They can't work for both. I think much of the congregation sees the hoarding of food (or the lack of accountability with the proceeeds) and that's why no one supports them any more.
It was very sad for me to see because every one of the ladies working the lot showed swelling of the ankles and other extremities. That indicates at least mild heart failure, yet they come out week after week, unhealthy in body (so who knows the status of their minds and spirits), endeavoring to do things they believe will upbuild the Kindgom --- except the Scriptures say Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and HIS Righteousness, and all else will be added unto you. I can't help but think that if we sought God's face IN OUR DECISION MAKING, that perhaps God would have some input into our decisions.
So anyway, I already took my Ambien and am half asleep. If you read this blog before I came back and edited it, you know that. But I made a slammin scramble with 3 slices of ham, EVOO, fried up the ham and threw in onions til they gave up their sweat. Blended some egg whites and some soymilk til it started to bubble, but not too much. Kept the fire hot, and poured the eggs into the meat mixture. Let set briefly, then scrambled so it didn't set completely. When they'd cooked, blended in cherry cheese. When this had blended in, garnished it with aaiago/parmesan blend. Added hot sauce and red pepper to taste. When done, heated up a small tortilla. Put chipotle mayo on it, and then put the egg mixture on it. Garnish it with hot sauce, rolled it up and ate it. Worked for me...
Friday, July 16, 2010
Talked to this guy today. He's a screamer. He's always agitated, always screaming, always discontent. When I talked to him, I couldn't help but remember when I used to live in that kind of reality. Sort of. Wonderful to have peace.
I was sitting down thinking about something to write, but no longer remember it, and want to go to bed. Went to Whole foods again tonite, got the Indian bar again; this is a habit I can't afford to let develop. Outside WHole Foods I bought a pineapple from Costa Rica; parts of it were sweet, but fruits here just don't compare to fruit you can eat before it's been shipped out....
So my OCD is manifest in my restless leg syndrome and won't let me sleep. I went to ghave a donut, a glass of egg-white fortified soy milk, thinking the sugar on top of the Ambien would knock me out, and it appears to be doig its job. I'm punchy. Just wanted to write down something, but forotwhat it wsa. I think it had tto do with eating hapit of peoplfe who dont 'have full stomachs.
Bu t m,y belliy is overlflowing now, so '''''i ust sign off rerel
severy blessings,
I was sitting down thinking about something to write, but no longer remember it, and want to go to bed. Went to Whole foods again tonite, got the Indian bar again; this is a habit I can't afford to let develop. Outside WHole Foods I bought a pineapple from Costa Rica; parts of it were sweet, but fruits here just don't compare to fruit you can eat before it's been shipped out....
So my OCD is manifest in my restless leg syndrome and won't let me sleep. I went to ghave a donut, a glass of egg-white fortified soy milk, thinking the sugar on top of the Ambien would knock me out, and it appears to be doig its job. I'm punchy. Just wanted to write down something, but forotwhat it wsa. I think it had tto do with eating hapit of peoplfe who dont 'have full stomachs.
Bu t m,y belliy is overlflowing now, so '''''i ust sign off rerel
severy blessings,
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sweat; waiting at WF
Some women "glisten." I sweat. Like a racehorse. I think it's hormonal -- it's been much more pronounced since the cancer, but I remember my mother sweating so much that she'd pass out, and I remember her having to take salt tablets to stop her from sweating.
Today I ran some errands in midtown. There are just SOOOOO many people in midtown Manhattan! Anyway, I run my errands and hit the Whole Foods in Chelsea. They have an Indian Bar which is usually pretty good. The young man, Jason or something, who was stocking the hot food bars told me it would be 5-10 minutes before the Indian bar was stocked. I waited what seemed like 15-20 minutes and then left. Whole Foods can take my Whole Paycheck or my Whole Time, but they can't do both. One of the other guys suggested I complain to customer service. Nah, I ain't trying to get a brother in trouble, but I don't know when I'll return to the Chelsea Whole Foods.
I did go up to the one at Columbus Circle, and was in and out in probably 20 minutes. On the ride up from Chelsea to 59th Street, I was in a subway car with no AC. Which takes us back to sweating.
Now, I believe that sweating is healthy. It helps the body cool off and it helps us eliminate toxins from our system. So my body starts to sweat, slowly at first, and a fine film (the glistening) covers my body. It looks really cool because I use this Nivea body oil and my forearms have moderate definition and not a lot of body fat, so it looks kinda cool. For about 10 minutes. After that, the torrential sweating starts. It just beads up on stop to ask if I'm ok (one of my friends helped me understand it's because profuse sweating is a symptom of an upcoming heart attack). But today I had on light-colored pants, and I was afraid to put my arms on my pants for fear of leaving big wet marks of sweat (with body oil residue). So I sat and I sweated and I sweated. Did I mention I was drinking a cup of coffee? I couldn't finish all of it because I kept dripping sweat into the cup, and I couldn't not drip sweat into the cup because it was all in my eyes and I couldn't see anything... I had some tissue in my bag, but as soon as I dabbed it to my forehead, it was wet and limp and useless.
To add to all this, as much as I think sweating's a good and natural function, I also think it looks really gross outside a gym, and can only wonder what people think of me.
The good think is that when I got upstairs from the subway, between the water on my body and the mild temperature outside, it was quite refreshing. So sweat can be good, even if it looks horrible and gross.
Off to the gym now.
Today I ran some errands in midtown. There are just SOOOOO many people in midtown Manhattan! Anyway, I run my errands and hit the Whole Foods in Chelsea. They have an Indian Bar which is usually pretty good. The young man, Jason or something, who was stocking the hot food bars told me it would be 5-10 minutes before the Indian bar was stocked. I waited what seemed like 15-20 minutes and then left. Whole Foods can take my Whole Paycheck or my Whole Time, but they can't do both. One of the other guys suggested I complain to customer service. Nah, I ain't trying to get a brother in trouble, but I don't know when I'll return to the Chelsea Whole Foods.
I did go up to the one at Columbus Circle, and was in and out in probably 20 minutes. On the ride up from Chelsea to 59th Street, I was in a subway car with no AC. Which takes us back to sweating.
Now, I believe that sweating is healthy. It helps the body cool off and it helps us eliminate toxins from our system. So my body starts to sweat, slowly at first, and a fine film (the glistening) covers my body. It looks really cool because I use this Nivea body oil and my forearms have moderate definition and not a lot of body fat, so it looks kinda cool. For about 10 minutes. After that, the torrential sweating starts. It just beads up on stop to ask if I'm ok (one of my friends helped me understand it's because profuse sweating is a symptom of an upcoming heart attack). But today I had on light-colored pants, and I was afraid to put my arms on my pants for fear of leaving big wet marks of sweat (with body oil residue). So I sat and I sweated and I sweated. Did I mention I was drinking a cup of coffee? I couldn't finish all of it because I kept dripping sweat into the cup, and I couldn't not drip sweat into the cup because it was all in my eyes and I couldn't see anything... I had some tissue in my bag, but as soon as I dabbed it to my forehead, it was wet and limp and useless.
To add to all this, as much as I think sweating's a good and natural function, I also think it looks really gross outside a gym, and can only wonder what people think of me.
The good think is that when I got upstairs from the subway, between the water on my body and the mild temperature outside, it was quite refreshing. So sweat can be good, even if it looks horrible and gross.
Off to the gym now.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
RIP, Mr. Steinbrenner
When I die, I want my friends to have a great big New Orleans style celebration. George Steinbrenner died today. Everybody is talking about what a great guy he was. I hope that's true; all I remember is the way the press portrayed him as brash, brusque, abrasive -- but now that he's dead, he's a saint.
Now they're starting to report on his generosity. The Yanks are going to wear patches honoring Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard for the rest of the season.
There are levels of organizational dysfunction that simply astound me. I'm tired, it's 11 pm and I wanted to be in bed by now, so I'm not going to write any more.
Now they're starting to report on his generosity. The Yanks are going to wear patches honoring Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard for the rest of the season.
There are levels of organizational dysfunction that simply astound me. I'm tired, it's 11 pm and I wanted to be in bed by now, so I'm not going to write any more.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday July 11
So this morning it was my privilege to bring the Word at morning service. I preached from Mark 4, the "Peace be still" passage. The point of the sermon was that we need to claim our PEACE (Praise, Experience Joy, Accept God's Will, find Contentment, and Expect a Blessing -- not original) we all need to find and claim our PEACE of the Rock, which of course, is Jesus.
After the game, I used my new micro projector to wrap up Bible study. I wanted to show folks pics from the Israel trip and tie it in to what we've been studying. Unfortunately, a LED micro projector isn't really suitable for teaching large groups of people.
The Liberty game was at 4 pm. On the train on the way down, I saw a guy reading a book titled "The Theology of Time." It had the crescent-moon symbol of Islam, so I assume the guy was Muslim. A scruffy, unkempt, apparently homeless young man came walking through the car. The guy with the book left everything on the seat and went to the other end of the train. There he pressed something into the hand of the young man. I thought it was really nice that this guy was giving charity without being asked.
So it was really surprising when the scruffy, unkempt young man came walking back through the car. He whipped out a cellphone and put it up to his ear. "Wow," I thought, "homeless people have cellphones now." When he came over to our end of the car and pressed the money back into the apparently Muslim guy's hand, I finally figured out that this young man was just scruffy and unkempt, but apparently neither homeless nor lacking in integrity, since he returned the money.
Of course, this is NYC. You never really know.
RIP, Bob Sheppard, famed Yankee announcer.
So the Liberty game was such a snoozer that I actually got a cup of coffee at halftime. I think the score was something like 38-45. Maybe more. While the Liberty were the first to score, they maintained a 9-point deficit for most of the game. It was pretty amazing when they won by 2 or 3 points. After the game, season ticket holders had the opportunity to get autographs from the players. I had Leilani Mitchell and Cappie Pondexter personalize theirs. It's great that they have these fan sessions, but what would really be great for me would be for the ladies to play better ball and win more. The team had a total of something like 57 points, and Cappie Pondexter scored 30 of them. I'd like to see the rest of the ladies hustle as much as she does.
It's 5 past 11. I wanted to be in bed by ten.
After the game, I used my new micro projector to wrap up Bible study. I wanted to show folks pics from the Israel trip and tie it in to what we've been studying. Unfortunately, a LED micro projector isn't really suitable for teaching large groups of people.
The Liberty game was at 4 pm. On the train on the way down, I saw a guy reading a book titled "The Theology of Time." It had the crescent-moon symbol of Islam, so I assume the guy was Muslim. A scruffy, unkempt, apparently homeless young man came walking through the car. The guy with the book left everything on the seat and went to the other end of the train. There he pressed something into the hand of the young man. I thought it was really nice that this guy was giving charity without being asked.
So it was really surprising when the scruffy, unkempt young man came walking back through the car. He whipped out a cellphone and put it up to his ear. "Wow," I thought, "homeless people have cellphones now." When he came over to our end of the car and pressed the money back into the apparently Muslim guy's hand, I finally figured out that this young man was just scruffy and unkempt, but apparently neither homeless nor lacking in integrity, since he returned the money.
Of course, this is NYC. You never really know.
RIP, Bob Sheppard, famed Yankee announcer.
So the Liberty game was such a snoozer that I actually got a cup of coffee at halftime. I think the score was something like 38-45. Maybe more. While the Liberty were the first to score, they maintained a 9-point deficit for most of the game. It was pretty amazing when they won by 2 or 3 points. After the game, season ticket holders had the opportunity to get autographs from the players. I had Leilani Mitchell and Cappie Pondexter personalize theirs. It's great that they have these fan sessions, but what would really be great for me would be for the ladies to play better ball and win more. The team had a total of something like 57 points, and Cappie Pondexter scored 30 of them. I'd like to see the rest of the ladies hustle as much as she does.
It's 5 past 11. I wanted to be in bed by ten.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
July 10
I haven't posted for a couple of days because I found out on Wednesday that I have to preach tomorrow. It looks like I'm coming from Mark 4, the Peace Be Still passage. I'm calling it my PEACE of the Rock. I'll be comparing the disciples' experience to our whitewater rafting experience, and talking about how we have to claim our peace of the Rock which is Jesus Christ.
Was watching Lockup and it occurs to me that people aren't necessarily evil so much as they get possessed by evil spirits. If you look at the worst offenders, they all have this crazy look in their eyes, and they're doing weird, self-destructive things. I don't believe we humans do that; I believe that's the influence of evil spirits. When the Bible talks about being possessed by evil spirits, I believe they're talking about people who exhibit behaviors that are so unnatural they seem to not be human. Evil spirits is the only explanation.
Today I had the opportunity to have a discussion with our Bishop, who also happens to be the Senior Bishop of the CME Church. I'm excited about the prospects of the next four years. There are lots of things that are broken in our Church, but there is also a willingness among the leadership to acknowledge our brokenness and to begin to fix it. That's wonderful. Everything can't change overnight, but to start the process of change is amazing.
And so I have posted something for today. I'm going to chop up some pineapple and mango, make a smoothie, and go to bed. More later.
Poor Cleveland. After LeBron's departure, what do they have going for them?
Was watching Lockup and it occurs to me that people aren't necessarily evil so much as they get possessed by evil spirits. If you look at the worst offenders, they all have this crazy look in their eyes, and they're doing weird, self-destructive things. I don't believe we humans do that; I believe that's the influence of evil spirits. When the Bible talks about being possessed by evil spirits, I believe they're talking about people who exhibit behaviors that are so unnatural they seem to not be human. Evil spirits is the only explanation.
Today I had the opportunity to have a discussion with our Bishop, who also happens to be the Senior Bishop of the CME Church. I'm excited about the prospects of the next four years. There are lots of things that are broken in our Church, but there is also a willingness among the leadership to acknowledge our brokenness and to begin to fix it. That's wonderful. Everything can't change overnight, but to start the process of change is amazing.
And so I have posted something for today. I'm going to chop up some pineapple and mango, make a smoothie, and go to bed. More later.
Poor Cleveland. After LeBron's departure, what do they have going for them?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The CME Church; LeBron
Over the next few days, I hope to list some of my thoughts about my church. The Christian Methodist Episcopal Church (formerly Colored Methodist Episcopal Church) is the last traditionally African American denomination to leave the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. The AMEs and AMEZs left on their own; we waited until the racists asked us to leave.
They say we are the church of the house slaves, and that's why we are so conformist and non-confrontational. Speaking of non-confrontational: this morning on the bus a woman was being really mean to her daughter. The daughter was crying. While I thought the lady was mean and I didn't like her cursing at her daughter, I didn't feel that it was my place to step in. Not sure why -- the lady was bad and I felt for the kid, but I didn't feel the lady was over the line. A social worker felt differently and confronted the lady. I sorta wondered why I didn't, but the lady raised a good point: what DO you do with kids when they're out of control? I wasn't there, I didn't have the history, I don't know how the kid misbehaved -- I just saw the lady's reaction. She did seem to have poor parenting skills, and she did act out by calling a friend and telling them about the social worker, while repeating to the kid that the kid couldn't misbehave and the lady was the one who carried the kid for 9 months, who fed and clothed her, etc. What the lady showed me was that she had poor coping skills and I felt bad for the kid, but I'm not sure the kid was abused.
But why didn't I speak up? Shouldn't we err on the side of caution and overprotection? I prolly didn't speak up cuz I'm a CME. We NEVER stir the waters...
It's 6 and I have a 7 pm swim class, so I'ma jet. I have to preach on Sunday. I think I'm going to use Colossians 1:1-14 and interplay that with my rafting experience. I think. ya never know where the Spirit will lead....
9:22pm. I love it that I can call my brother and my father (who live in different states) and just say "where do YOU think he's going?" and have both of them answer. While I've decided I like LeBron more and more since watching him (I think he's a very level headed young man), I have to say I'm disappointed that he's going to the Heat and leaving Cleveland. I mean, what does Cleveland have left now? My dad and I both thought and hoped he would stay there, but my brother said he was going to Miami. NY fans, I'm sure, are devastated. Oh, well.
1 am - it's a little unnerving how the windows 7 background keeps changing when you're doing one thing. But doing one thing I am: Cramming popcorn down my throat before bed, so thought I'd post a little more.
Back to the CME Church. so we're very much a non-confrontational church -- I don't remember, but I think that during the civil rights marches in Chapel Hill, I was with the Baptists, not my Methodist friends. As a traditionally African American branch of Methodism, we share the same prophetic principles, the same strangely warming fire of the Holy Spirit, we have the same methodical structure to assure checks and balances and accountability up and down the line.
But something's gone terribly wrong. It's as if we're Dr. Frankenstein's monster. We've got all the pieces, even if they work jerkily or disjointedly or generally not as smoothly as they could. And though we are stitched together from hither and yon, we do have something of a body, albeit one that appears to lack the innate physiological and cognitive faculties necessary for forward movement; still, it learns to move and does so -- jerkily at first, but with more, if labored, self-determination every day.
But still, somehow, what we have is a human-cobbled-together-creation that's playing at church. We we need is a divinely-inspired creation BEING church -- the Body of Christ. We don't need to dress ourselves up to do Christ right -- we need to do Christ right to dress ourselves up! We don't need to go to dinners and dress up in white suits to be holy, and we don't need to be holy so we can dress up in white suits and go to dinner. We need to be holy to see which of God's people needs a suit or which of God's people needs a dinner so that they, too, can enjoy some of the abundance.
In my mind, that's where my church falls down. Sure, they give from time to time, but only among the young people do I see a genuine desire to give without some expectation of receiving anything in return (although part of that has to do with how we teach Christianity. If all we teach is that we should be good so God will reward us in heaven, then we're living for the wrong reasons. I heard someone say it the other day. She said that her pastor said "Most people are just buying fire insurance." And it's true. Most of the people around the church are just b buying Fire insurance. They're just there, not even necessarily believing, but thinking, well, if there IS a hell, I don't want to burn in it, so I'ma go to church and that'll be my fire insurance.
I'm sleepy, but I have to circle back to the CME Church that I know and love, the same fairly dysfunctional church that lost all its theological credibility when it condemned homosexual unions in one general conference and then, with no change of policy, passed the character of a church leader who admitted to engaging in homosexual unions and who not only gave no indication that it had ended, but did not even see fit to address the issue with his congregants. I'm doing Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and I'd say the team that is the College of Bishops is displaying symptoms of the first dysfunction right now: Absence of Trust. The Absence of trust stems from team members (the college of bishops) being unwilling to be vulnerable with each other. Failing to build trust is damaging because it sets the tone for the second dysfunction, which is fear of conflict. We just had a general conflict where major issues were simply not discussed because the College of Bishops shut the people down. Teams that fear conflict cannot passionately exchange ideas; they go behind each other's backs and engage in veiled discussions and guarded comments.
Which sets the church up for the third dysfunction, which is a lack of commitment. If people believe their ideas are not considered, there is no buy in and the project rs and initiatives proposed by the College of Bishops are doomed to fail.
Without commitment and buy-in, there is an avoidance of accountability. Without commitment to a clear plan of action, people are not clear and are hesitant to hold one another accountable.
That leads to the fifth dysfunction, an inattention to results. That happens when people put their individual needs or egos (I want to be pastor bishop, elder, Gen. Secy, etc) ahead of what's good for the CME Church (if I were honest with myself I would see that I don't have the necessary skills. If I were honest with myself, I'd see that I don't have a plan. If I were honest with myself, I'd realize that "I don't have a clue). But we don't make those calls. We go along to get along, until we find ourselves right where we started, except that everyone hates everyone...
2 am. I gotta go to bed.
They say we are the church of the house slaves, and that's why we are so conformist and non-confrontational. Speaking of non-confrontational: this morning on the bus a woman was being really mean to her daughter. The daughter was crying. While I thought the lady was mean and I didn't like her cursing at her daughter, I didn't feel that it was my place to step in. Not sure why -- the lady was bad and I felt for the kid, but I didn't feel the lady was over the line. A social worker felt differently and confronted the lady. I sorta wondered why I didn't, but the lady raised a good point: what DO you do with kids when they're out of control? I wasn't there, I didn't have the history, I don't know how the kid misbehaved -- I just saw the lady's reaction. She did seem to have poor parenting skills, and she did act out by calling a friend and telling them about the social worker, while repeating to the kid that the kid couldn't misbehave and the lady was the one who carried the kid for 9 months, who fed and clothed her, etc. What the lady showed me was that she had poor coping skills and I felt bad for the kid, but I'm not sure the kid was abused.
But why didn't I speak up? Shouldn't we err on the side of caution and overprotection? I prolly didn't speak up cuz I'm a CME. We NEVER stir the waters...
It's 6 and I have a 7 pm swim class, so I'ma jet. I have to preach on Sunday. I think I'm going to use Colossians 1:1-14 and interplay that with my rafting experience. I think. ya never know where the Spirit will lead....
9:22pm. I love it that I can call my brother and my father (who live in different states) and just say "where do YOU think he's going?" and have both of them answer. While I've decided I like LeBron more and more since watching him (I think he's a very level headed young man), I have to say I'm disappointed that he's going to the Heat and leaving Cleveland. I mean, what does Cleveland have left now? My dad and I both thought and hoped he would stay there, but my brother said he was going to Miami. NY fans, I'm sure, are devastated. Oh, well.
1 am - it's a little unnerving how the windows 7 background keeps changing when you're doing one thing. But doing one thing I am: Cramming popcorn down my throat before bed, so thought I'd post a little more.
Back to the CME Church. so we're very much a non-confrontational church -- I don't remember, but I think that during the civil rights marches in Chapel Hill, I was with the Baptists, not my Methodist friends. As a traditionally African American branch of Methodism, we share the same prophetic principles, the same strangely warming fire of the Holy Spirit, we have the same methodical structure to assure checks and balances and accountability up and down the line.
But something's gone terribly wrong. It's as if we're Dr. Frankenstein's monster. We've got all the pieces, even if they work jerkily or disjointedly or generally not as smoothly as they could. And though we are stitched together from hither and yon, we do have something of a body, albeit one that appears to lack the innate physiological and cognitive faculties necessary for forward movement; still, it learns to move and does so -- jerkily at first, but with more, if labored, self-determination every day.
But still, somehow, what we have is a human-cobbled-together-creation that's playing at church. We we need is a divinely-inspired creation BEING church -- the Body of Christ. We don't need to dress ourselves up to do Christ right -- we need to do Christ right to dress ourselves up! We don't need to go to dinners and dress up in white suits to be holy, and we don't need to be holy so we can dress up in white suits and go to dinner. We need to be holy to see which of God's people needs a suit or which of God's people needs a dinner so that they, too, can enjoy some of the abundance.
In my mind, that's where my church falls down. Sure, they give from time to time, but only among the young people do I see a genuine desire to give without some expectation of receiving anything in return (although part of that has to do with how we teach Christianity. If all we teach is that we should be good so God will reward us in heaven, then we're living for the wrong reasons. I heard someone say it the other day. She said that her pastor said "Most people are just buying fire insurance." And it's true. Most of the people around the church are just b buying Fire insurance. They're just there, not even necessarily believing, but thinking, well, if there IS a hell, I don't want to burn in it, so I'ma go to church and that'll be my fire insurance.
I'm sleepy, but I have to circle back to the CME Church that I know and love, the same fairly dysfunctional church that lost all its theological credibility when it condemned homosexual unions in one general conference and then, with no change of policy, passed the character of a church leader who admitted to engaging in homosexual unions and who not only gave no indication that it had ended, but did not even see fit to address the issue with his congregants. I'm doing Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and I'd say the team that is the College of Bishops is displaying symptoms of the first dysfunction right now: Absence of Trust. The Absence of trust stems from team members (the college of bishops) being unwilling to be vulnerable with each other. Failing to build trust is damaging because it sets the tone for the second dysfunction, which is fear of conflict. We just had a general conflict where major issues were simply not discussed because the College of Bishops shut the people down. Teams that fear conflict cannot passionately exchange ideas; they go behind each other's backs and engage in veiled discussions and guarded comments.
Which sets the church up for the third dysfunction, which is a lack of commitment. If people believe their ideas are not considered, there is no buy in and the project rs and initiatives proposed by the College of Bishops are doomed to fail.
Without commitment and buy-in, there is an avoidance of accountability. Without commitment to a clear plan of action, people are not clear and are hesitant to hold one another accountable.
That leads to the fifth dysfunction, an inattention to results. That happens when people put their individual needs or egos (I want to be pastor bishop, elder, Gen. Secy, etc) ahead of what's good for the CME Church (if I were honest with myself I would see that I don't have the necessary skills. If I were honest with myself, I'd see that I don't have a plan. If I were honest with myself, I'd realize that "I don't have a clue). But we don't make those calls. We go along to get along, until we find ourselves right where we started, except that everyone hates everyone...
2 am. I gotta go to bed.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, July 7
So I'm here in my doctor's office waiting to be seen. Apparently there's only one person ahead of me to see him, which is good, since I have a 6:30 uptown. Doesn't look like I'll make it to the gym today, which is not good. But I had a good workout on Monday, and maintaining one's health is important, as well.
Don't know if I posted here about Farhad Nadim. He was a classmate in Chapel Hill. We'd made contact, then lost contact. He'd called me and when I finally got around to looking him up (because I'd lost his number), I was saddened to find he'd passed away. Couldn't get any more information on it than that.
While Farhad and I were in communication, I also got back in touch with Roger Wooten. Roger and I had known each other since nursery school. He was a very special boy in ways far too personal to put on the internet. I actually paid money to join classmates.com so I could reconnect with him. When Roger, Farhad and I were all in touch, we also put Farouk, Farhad's big brother, back in touch with Donna, Roger's big sister. Of course, Manhattanite that I am, I lost touch with Roger. Our relationship was such that too much time had gone by -- yeah, I'll flake off for a few months, maybe a year, perhaps more, but I didn't remember the last time I'd talked to Roger. So I went on a crusade to find him. I friended a coupla Roger Wootens on FB, but neither was him. I contacted a bunch of old Chapel Hill friends, but nobody had info on him. I tried his email addresses, but they weren't any good, and then I tried calling and texting his phone.
And that's when his wife texted back. She let me know that Roger passed away on August 16, 2006 (two weeks to the day after my 50th birthday. ) I kinda was prepared for that news given the length of time that had passed since our last communication, but Roger was a year younger than me, so it's -- sad isn't the word -- it's just unsettling to think that my dear friend has departed this life and I won't be able to speak with him or hug him again...
I should probably post this since the doctor may come out at any moment.
Don't know if I posted here about Farhad Nadim. He was a classmate in Chapel Hill. We'd made contact, then lost contact. He'd called me and when I finally got around to looking him up (because I'd lost his number), I was saddened to find he'd passed away. Couldn't get any more information on it than that.
While Farhad and I were in communication, I also got back in touch with Roger Wooten. Roger and I had known each other since nursery school. He was a very special boy in ways far too personal to put on the internet. I actually paid money to join classmates.com so I could reconnect with him. When Roger, Farhad and I were all in touch, we also put Farouk, Farhad's big brother, back in touch with Donna, Roger's big sister. Of course, Manhattanite that I am, I lost touch with Roger. Our relationship was such that too much time had gone by -- yeah, I'll flake off for a few months, maybe a year, perhaps more, but I didn't remember the last time I'd talked to Roger. So I went on a crusade to find him. I friended a coupla Roger Wootens on FB, but neither was him. I contacted a bunch of old Chapel Hill friends, but nobody had info on him. I tried his email addresses, but they weren't any good, and then I tried calling and texting his phone.
And that's when his wife texted back. She let me know that Roger passed away on August 16, 2006 (two weeks to the day after my 50th birthday. ) I kinda was prepared for that news given the length of time that had passed since our last communication, but Roger was a year younger than me, so it's -- sad isn't the word -- it's just unsettling to think that my dear friend has departed this life and I won't be able to speak with him or hug him again...
I should probably post this since the doctor may come out at any moment.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
July 6
I've been at this job for nearly 4 months. When I came on board, I was aware of some degree of dysfunction, but what I'm finding is just sooooo sad. There's fiscal mismanagement to the extent that I don't know if people were stealing or simply stupid. My program directors don't seem to understand what they're doing, and I get clients calling up and spilling their guts to me. Mad, mad rants indicating a (IMHO) a lack of case management. We arranged a deal to get us out of debt with the TWO copier contracts we're in, only to find at the last minute that the deal didn't go through because of our poor credit rating.
Most of our funding comes from governmental agencies. Governmental agencies are staffed by bureaucrats. These are people who follow processes without regard to common sense. So I have people all day asking me to jump through hoops for money, without being able to tell me beforehand which hoop it is, how high I need to jump, or what I'm likely to encounter when I land. However, if I fail to execute a brilliant jump, the agency stands to lose its funding.
I have helpers who are probably well-intentioned, but who seem a bit challenged, each in various ways. People told me before I started that I should clean house; I regret not having done so, and have sort of left myself the option open. I'm currently plagued by some staffmembers who pull the "cat's away" syndrome. Which is cool with me; I'd said back in May that I was looking to make changes at the end of the summer, and my IMHO, people who have more important things to do than work should be freed up to do those things.
So my church has a gay bishop!!
They didn't mean to, of course, but there's a sitting bishop who admitted to having an affair with an underling, stating that it was consensual. My issue is only with the fact that the bishop chose to have an affair while married to a woman. When he reported it to the College of Bishops, they sat him down, putting him on administrative leave. Somehow they allowed him back, but he reportedly states he doesn't have to acknowledge anything to the people. There was a vote on whether or not his character should pass. Over 200 people said that no, his character should not pass. but over 400 people said his character should pass. What that tells me is that over 400 people in the CME church are OK with adultery and fornication. It also suggests to me that those 400 plus people are gay affirming, since at the last General Conference the church made some homophobic law about not allowing clergy to perform same-sex unions of any type, even when they're legal in the state you're in. OK, so we can't do the same-sex thing, but if you get caught in a same-sex act, that's not enough to cause your character to not pass. Hmmmm.... while I know they'd have a fit if I said it, the CME Church certainly is sounding to me like it's gay affirming. Personally, I think that's great, but somehow doubt that's what the people had in mind....
Most of our funding comes from governmental agencies. Governmental agencies are staffed by bureaucrats. These are people who follow processes without regard to common sense. So I have people all day asking me to jump through hoops for money, without being able to tell me beforehand which hoop it is, how high I need to jump, or what I'm likely to encounter when I land. However, if I fail to execute a brilliant jump, the agency stands to lose its funding.
I have helpers who are probably well-intentioned, but who seem a bit challenged, each in various ways. People told me before I started that I should clean house; I regret not having done so, and have sort of left myself the option open. I'm currently plagued by some staffmembers who pull the "cat's away" syndrome. Which is cool with me; I'd said back in May that I was looking to make changes at the end of the summer, and my IMHO, people who have more important things to do than work should be freed up to do those things.
So my church has a gay bishop!!
They didn't mean to, of course, but there's a sitting bishop who admitted to having an affair with an underling, stating that it was consensual. My issue is only with the fact that the bishop chose to have an affair while married to a woman. When he reported it to the College of Bishops, they sat him down, putting him on administrative leave. Somehow they allowed him back, but he reportedly states he doesn't have to acknowledge anything to the people. There was a vote on whether or not his character should pass. Over 200 people said that no, his character should not pass. but over 400 people said his character should pass. What that tells me is that over 400 people in the CME church are OK with adultery and fornication. It also suggests to me that those 400 plus people are gay affirming, since at the last General Conference the church made some homophobic law about not allowing clergy to perform same-sex unions of any type, even when they're legal in the state you're in. OK, so we can't do the same-sex thing, but if you get caught in a same-sex act, that's not enough to cause your character to not pass. Hmmmm.... while I know they'd have a fit if I said it, the CME Church certainly is sounding to me like it's gay affirming. Personally, I think that's great, but somehow doubt that's what the people had in mind....
Monday, July 5, 2010
It's 1:40 am and I should be sleeping, but Ima post about my new breakfast burrito
already took the sleep meds, which are kicking in. have the heat wrap on my back, which is nice; this is just as nice. Trying to use up old food in the fridge, so I pulled out some Canadian Bacon. I only like to eat it when I have time to sit home and enjoy it. Got some carb complete medium tortillas (only 10G net carbs, they say...) diced up some Canadian bacon and stirred in a tablespoon of olive oil so it wouldn't stick. Then I threw in the pineapple and mango pieces I'd been cutting up (I used them instead of peppers). Once this mixture cooked down a bit, I poured in some eggs to which I'd added hot sauce and Worcestershire sauce. Unfortunately, I forgot to add the zahtar. Oh, and I took one Mickey D has brown and cut it up and let it cook with the pina and mango, before I added the eggs.
Cooked the eggs hard scrambled, so they don't retain any juice. Laid our four baby bells on each of four small soft taco shells.
It was quite good.
I think my sleep meds are causing some hallucinations. I'm going to bed.
Cooked the eggs hard scrambled, so they don't retain any juice. Laid our four baby bells on each of four small soft taco shells.
It was quite good.
I think my sleep meds are causing some hallucinations. I'm going to bed.
This morning's stroll
Wrote down some goals for today: need to clean up some clutter and get it ready to have shredded, and want to move some furniture to make way for a different filing cabinet in my den.
At 10:44, I decide to treat myself to breakfast at Mickey D's. Haven't planned my schedule enough to know when I'm going to the gym, but I decide to go to Mickey D's. I throw on something and get over there, the person in front of me finishes ordering, it's 10:55, and I'm just about to order my hash browns and coffee when this little boy comes up to the cashier. He's probably 12 or 13.
"Um, there's only four sandwiches in here. I ordered two of them and there's only four sandwiches in here." The cashier tells him that he's ordered two of the 2 for $3 specials, and that's why he has four sandwiches. "But I ordered two of them and there's only four sandwiches here." They went back and forth for about a minute. Normally I don't intrude in these things, but I was concerned I wouldn't be able to order hash browns after 11 am, so I said to him, very slowly, "Two and two more is four."
He left, but I don't know if he got it, was just embarrassed, or decided majority rules. At first I thought it was cute, but the more I thought about it, the more disturbing it became. Here's a kid who has money enough to buy breakfast and who can presumably make out a 2 and a 3 on a sign. We don't know if he can read or not because we all know you don't have to be able to read to order from the McDonald's menu. What's apparent is that he could not understand what he was reading enough to realize that the 2 referred to the number of sandwiches in the special and that the 3 referred to the price. He also apparently lacked the analytical skills to count his money or his change and figure out how much he'd spent, then determine what the numbers 2 and 3 referred to. Given his small size, I'm going to assume that he was with at least one other friend, and none of them could make these connections, either.
It's disturbing to think that our teenaged kids can't read or understand. It's even more disturbing to think that this is a situation that exists here in Harlem, but that I'm unlikely to find south of 96th Street. It's also disturbing to consider that, while some of our Harlem kids can't read or comprehend, I go to Costa Rica and talk to a typical Costa Rican teen whose pastime is exploiting the weaknesses in the latest Windows OS, or trying to explain to the adults what it is he likes about studying physics.
I would make a comment about how we're creating a generation that will be condemned to be stagehands at the periphery of the world stage -- except that many of them may not live that long because they'll be dead from their constant diet of fast food.
I'm beginning to accept the fact that people, usually crazy people, often stop me on the street and start talking to me. It's like I'm a crazy person magnet or something. It's been that way as long as I can remember. Even if I'm in a group of people, the crazy person will come right up to me and start talking to me like they know me. I've taken to wearing headphones on the street to try to create an impression of unavailability, but this doesn't seem to deter them in the least. So I'm coming back from Mickey D's, feeling guilty about the hash browns I'm gonna eat and wondering why the social response to our kids' poor education and eating will be reactive rather than proactive. I'm lost in thought, and this lady passes me. I notice she has a lot of stuff on her shirt, but I'm not really paying attention.
Next thing I know, she doubles back, and starts telling me about her weekend in Philly. Seems she went to Philly for the 4th and a couple of white guys got into a fight which the cops had to break up. There was more: she was giving me history and who the players were and stuff, but a) I didn't care, and b) my coffee was in the bag in my hand, so I just kept nodding and trying to walk off. She kept talking. I think she was talking about a conspiracy theory -- the stuff on her shirt was a bunch of political buttons (Does she put them on every day? Why?) I did manage to get away, to wish her a nice day, and tell her I was glad she enjoyed her trip. Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I'm aware that God makes me available for people like that because they have a need to share with someone who at least pretends to listen. Or maybe one day I'll get to the point where I actually listen and realize that God makes people like that available, not for me to minister to them, but for them to minister to me. Who knows -- I could have been entertaining an angel, unaware....
I'ma finish watching Lockup, maybe for another hour, finish my coffee, and then I'm going to get busy putting some order into my house. Maybe I'll go to the gym, maybe not. Haven't decided on that one yet.
2:53 pm - I thought it was 3:53. Seems I've accomplished the goals I set for the day, though they weren't complete and my house is a mess. But I got the file cabinets moved and got a lot of stuff ready to throw shred. I think I'm going to go to the gym now....
At 10:44, I decide to treat myself to breakfast at Mickey D's. Haven't planned my schedule enough to know when I'm going to the gym, but I decide to go to Mickey D's. I throw on something and get over there, the person in front of me finishes ordering, it's 10:55, and I'm just about to order my hash browns and coffee when this little boy comes up to the cashier. He's probably 12 or 13.
"Um, there's only four sandwiches in here. I ordered two of them and there's only four sandwiches in here." The cashier tells him that he's ordered two of the 2 for $3 specials, and that's why he has four sandwiches. "But I ordered two of them and there's only four sandwiches here." They went back and forth for about a minute. Normally I don't intrude in these things, but I was concerned I wouldn't be able to order hash browns after 11 am, so I said to him, very slowly, "Two and two more is four."
He left, but I don't know if he got it, was just embarrassed, or decided majority rules. At first I thought it was cute, but the more I thought about it, the more disturbing it became. Here's a kid who has money enough to buy breakfast and who can presumably make out a 2 and a 3 on a sign. We don't know if he can read or not because we all know you don't have to be able to read to order from the McDonald's menu. What's apparent is that he could not understand what he was reading enough to realize that the 2 referred to the number of sandwiches in the special and that the 3 referred to the price. He also apparently lacked the analytical skills to count his money or his change and figure out how much he'd spent, then determine what the numbers 2 and 3 referred to. Given his small size, I'm going to assume that he was with at least one other friend, and none of them could make these connections, either.
It's disturbing to think that our teenaged kids can't read or understand. It's even more disturbing to think that this is a situation that exists here in Harlem, but that I'm unlikely to find south of 96th Street. It's also disturbing to consider that, while some of our Harlem kids can't read or comprehend, I go to Costa Rica and talk to a typical Costa Rican teen whose pastime is exploiting the weaknesses in the latest Windows OS, or trying to explain to the adults what it is he likes about studying physics.
I would make a comment about how we're creating a generation that will be condemned to be stagehands at the periphery of the world stage -- except that many of them may not live that long because they'll be dead from their constant diet of fast food.
I'm beginning to accept the fact that people, usually crazy people, often stop me on the street and start talking to me. It's like I'm a crazy person magnet or something. It's been that way as long as I can remember. Even if I'm in a group of people, the crazy person will come right up to me and start talking to me like they know me. I've taken to wearing headphones on the street to try to create an impression of unavailability, but this doesn't seem to deter them in the least. So I'm coming back from Mickey D's, feeling guilty about the hash browns I'm gonna eat and wondering why the social response to our kids' poor education and eating will be reactive rather than proactive. I'm lost in thought, and this lady passes me. I notice she has a lot of stuff on her shirt, but I'm not really paying attention.
Next thing I know, she doubles back, and starts telling me about her weekend in Philly. Seems she went to Philly for the 4th and a couple of white guys got into a fight which the cops had to break up. There was more: she was giving me history and who the players were and stuff, but a) I didn't care, and b) my coffee was in the bag in my hand, so I just kept nodding and trying to walk off. She kept talking. I think she was talking about a conspiracy theory -- the stuff on her shirt was a bunch of political buttons (Does she put them on every day? Why?) I did manage to get away, to wish her a nice day, and tell her I was glad she enjoyed her trip. Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I'm aware that God makes me available for people like that because they have a need to share with someone who at least pretends to listen. Or maybe one day I'll get to the point where I actually listen and realize that God makes people like that available, not for me to minister to them, but for them to minister to me. Who knows -- I could have been entertaining an angel, unaware....
I'ma finish watching Lockup, maybe for another hour, finish my coffee, and then I'm going to get busy putting some order into my house. Maybe I'll go to the gym, maybe not. Haven't decided on that one yet.
2:53 pm - I thought it was 3:53. Seems I've accomplished the goals I set for the day, though they weren't complete and my house is a mess. But I got the file cabinets moved and got a lot of stuff ready to throw shred. I think I'm going to go to the gym now....
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The Hastings Ruling
Happy Birthday, America. It's truly a privilege to live here, in "the land of the free and the home of the brave." As I posted on FB the other day, the more I travel, the harder it is to refrain from spontaneously clapping whenever I hear them sing "...the land of the freeeeeeee....." It's an honor and a privilege to be an American!!
So because it's the Fourth of July, there's not a lot on TV. I was watching Religion and Ethics Newsweekly, and they reported on the recent Supreme Court ruling regarding Hastings College of the Law and the Christian Legal Society. Hastings had denied public funding to the Christian Legal Society because CLS required its members to take a vow abstaining from sex outside of heterosexual marriage. The Supreme Court ruled that requiring this vow amounts to discrimination, and that entities receiving public funds don't have the right to discriminate. Even based on your religious beliefs.
So here's my thought: I agree with the Supreme Court ruling in principle. I happen to believe that all Americans are entitled to equal rights under the law, even if they're Americans with whom I don't agree (my friend Alan and his ex David are busy buying up properties in a rural New York neighborhood because they don't want students living in their neighborhood. When he told me about it, I told him I thought he couldn't discriminate against students, and he admitted there was a bit of a NIMBY attitude in the town. When I came home, it struck me that their buying up properties to prevent students is, in principle, no different than people buying up (or selling off) properties to prevent blacks or gays or Muslims from living near them. Where we finally came to agreement is that it's not the people or the group that's undesirable, it's the behaviors they exhibit.).
So even when Americans exhibit behaviors with which I don't agree, I believe that as Americans, they are still entitled to equal rights under the law. It gets a little sticky here because that means that vile and evil people like Klansmen, pedophiles, and homophobes all get equal protection under the law. Remembering the fundamental Christian principles which under gird our nation, I have to be reminded that it's not my place to judge their behavior, but rather to reach out to them in love and show them the love of Christ. That's not always easy to do, but that's the cost of discipleship -- that's the weight of the cross we have to pick up daily.
Regarding the Hastings matter, how I see it is that if the CLS wants to receive public funds, then it cannot discriminate against students. If its belief that anything other than heterosexual marriage is counter to its religious tenets, then I wonder if it's allowed to put forth the REASONS that led it to its beliefs: in other words, belief in the primacy of the family unit as seen through the traditional Judeo-Christian worldview. Would it be acceptable to not prohibit all sex outside heterosexual marriage, but instead to teach or state WHY they believe that only sex inside heterosexual marriage is valid, and to have the goal of the organization be a gathering of people who share the same beliefs? That way they don't expressly prohibit people who don't share their ideas, and they have an opportunity to share those ideas when they come into question.
More fundamentally, I think that we Christians need to examine our belief sets. Not to say that "the world" is always or even often correct, but if we are discriminating against non-believers, if we are unwilling to allow them access to activities made available to believers, then we have two options:
1) make our exclusively Christian, for-believers-only activities funded exclusively by Christian believers; or
2) consider our exclusively Christian, for-believers-only activities and examine them for ways to make them not only inclusive, but vehicles through which we can share the love of Christ.
In general, it seems to me that we spend too much time condemning others and not enough time loving, sharing with and teaching them. I think Jesus addressed this issue many times, when he told the people that those who were without sin should cast the first stone, when he told them to take the log out of their own eyes before they took the speck out of their neighbor's eyes, and when he told people that the GREATEST law was to love the Lord with all your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength, and the next was loving your neighbor as yourself because all the laws and the prophets hinged on that.
I think that would be a good place for Christians to start. I think that would be a good place for the CLS to start -- loving God with totality of heart, soul, mind and strength, then attempting to put yourself in the place of that person you don't want around. Try walking a mile in their shoes. Try seeing how they feel.
I'm working on a sermon for next month, and here's something I got from another preacher. It's NOT original, but it's a great illustration. The preacher says:
"God's grace is the same,
- for the tongue pierced teenager and for their parents
- for the former gang member and the kids in rural America
- for the murderer on death row and for the judge who sentenced the criminal
- for the PhD as well as for the redneck
- for the girl with the questionable reputation and the person everyone admires
- for the boy who spent more time in the Principal's office than in class and the Valedictorian
- for the person who wears Nike® shoes and the person who wears Keds ®
- for the "jock" and for the "nerd"
- for the person who has refined "social graces" and those who do not
- for those who are democrat and those who are republican
- the members of the ACLU and the Christian Coalition
(I'm adding here:
- for people I like and for people I don't;
- for people who think like me and for people who don't;
- for you and for me.)
We have the same problem (sin), the same means of salvation (grace through faith) and for those who respond, the same eternal destiny (Heaven), the same Spirit within, the same calling for life (do all for His glory). The earthly distinctions are abolished."
C'mon people. We need to learn to meet one another where we are, and to get along. If we are Christian, we need to carry the love of Christ, The Great Physician, the Living Water, and the Bread of Life, to a sick and weary world that is parched and starving for The Truth.
So because it's the Fourth of July, there's not a lot on TV. I was watching Religion and Ethics Newsweekly, and they reported on the recent Supreme Court ruling regarding Hastings College of the Law and the Christian Legal Society. Hastings had denied public funding to the Christian Legal Society because CLS required its members to take a vow abstaining from sex outside of heterosexual marriage. The Supreme Court ruled that requiring this vow amounts to discrimination, and that entities receiving public funds don't have the right to discriminate. Even based on your religious beliefs.
So here's my thought: I agree with the Supreme Court ruling in principle. I happen to believe that all Americans are entitled to equal rights under the law, even if they're Americans with whom I don't agree (my friend Alan and his ex David are busy buying up properties in a rural New York neighborhood because they don't want students living in their neighborhood. When he told me about it, I told him I thought he couldn't discriminate against students, and he admitted there was a bit of a NIMBY attitude in the town. When I came home, it struck me that their buying up properties to prevent students is, in principle, no different than people buying up (or selling off) properties to prevent blacks or gays or Muslims from living near them. Where we finally came to agreement is that it's not the people or the group that's undesirable, it's the behaviors they exhibit.).
So even when Americans exhibit behaviors with which I don't agree, I believe that as Americans, they are still entitled to equal rights under the law. It gets a little sticky here because that means that vile and evil people like Klansmen, pedophiles, and homophobes all get equal protection under the law. Remembering the fundamental Christian principles which under gird our nation, I have to be reminded that it's not my place to judge their behavior, but rather to reach out to them in love and show them the love of Christ. That's not always easy to do, but that's the cost of discipleship -- that's the weight of the cross we have to pick up daily.
Regarding the Hastings matter, how I see it is that if the CLS wants to receive public funds, then it cannot discriminate against students. If its belief that anything other than heterosexual marriage is counter to its religious tenets, then I wonder if it's allowed to put forth the REASONS that led it to its beliefs: in other words, belief in the primacy of the family unit as seen through the traditional Judeo-Christian worldview. Would it be acceptable to not prohibit all sex outside heterosexual marriage, but instead to teach or state WHY they believe that only sex inside heterosexual marriage is valid, and to have the goal of the organization be a gathering of people who share the same beliefs? That way they don't expressly prohibit people who don't share their ideas, and they have an opportunity to share those ideas when they come into question.
More fundamentally, I think that we Christians need to examine our belief sets. Not to say that "the world" is always or even often correct, but if we are discriminating against non-believers, if we are unwilling to allow them access to activities made available to believers, then we have two options:
1) make our exclusively Christian, for-believers-only activities funded exclusively by Christian believers; or
2) consider our exclusively Christian, for-believers-only activities and examine them for ways to make them not only inclusive, but vehicles through which we can share the love of Christ.
In general, it seems to me that we spend too much time condemning others and not enough time loving, sharing with and teaching them. I think Jesus addressed this issue many times, when he told the people that those who were without sin should cast the first stone, when he told them to take the log out of their own eyes before they took the speck out of their neighbor's eyes, and when he told people that the GREATEST law was to love the Lord with all your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength, and the next was loving your neighbor as yourself because all the laws and the prophets hinged on that.
I think that would be a good place for Christians to start. I think that would be a good place for the CLS to start -- loving God with totality of heart, soul, mind and strength, then attempting to put yourself in the place of that person you don't want around. Try walking a mile in their shoes. Try seeing how they feel.
I'm working on a sermon for next month, and here's something I got from another preacher. It's NOT original, but it's a great illustration. The preacher says:
"God's grace is the same,
- for the tongue pierced teenager and for their parents
- for the former gang member and the kids in rural America
- for the murderer on death row and for the judge who sentenced the criminal
- for the PhD as well as for the redneck
- for the girl with the questionable reputation and the person everyone admires
- for the boy who spent more time in the Principal's office than in class and the Valedictorian
- for the person who wears Nike® shoes and the person who wears Keds ®
- for the "jock" and for the "nerd"
- for the person who has refined "social graces" and those who do not
- for those who are democrat and those who are republican
- the members of the ACLU and the Christian Coalition
(I'm adding here:
- for people I like and for people I don't;
- for people who think like me and for people who don't;
- for you and for me.)
We have the same problem (sin), the same means of salvation (grace through faith) and for those who respond, the same eternal destiny (Heaven), the same Spirit within, the same calling for life (do all for His glory). The earthly distinctions are abolished."
C'mon people. We need to learn to meet one another where we are, and to get along. If we are Christian, we need to carry the love of Christ, The Great Physician, the Living Water, and the Bread of Life, to a sick and weary world that is parched and starving for The Truth.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Romans 8:28
Romans 8:28 says that "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose." Some of us say that "All things work together for good for them that love the Lord." The point of it is not some fatalistic accession of predestination, but rather a strengthening of one's faith, the assurance that, even when things don't look like it from our immediate perspective, that God has it under control.
The issue of free will is worth bringing into the mix here. If we believe in free will, how then can we also accept that God has a master plan and has everything under control? I think the issue only presents itself when we think of time and existence in linear terms, or as each having some sort of exclusivity about it. I think the reality, that aspect of God to which refer as mystery, or omnipotence, or omniscience -- I think the reality may have to do with concepts of time and existence that are not bound by the constraints of the human mind -- I believe it is indeed possible that God may have a way or method of knowing that can involve having a master plan and can also allow for free will.
Imagine a circle. Now dra a line from any point on the circumference of the cirle to any other point in the interiro or on the circumference of the circle. This line represents the human experience of existence and the human experience of time. It starts at point a and goes to point b. Humans who are exceptionally gifted or who have supernatural abilities may even be able to see ahead of them from one point to another. Perhaps some humans could even see not just their own lines, but some other people's lines.
But if we get above the circle completely, then we have an idea of what God's view is -- God can see the whole circumference of the circle AND God can see everything inside the circle. So God can see human past, present and future, what humans are doing now, and what humans are likely to do in the future.
That's my general thought. Haven't worked it out completely. But as I sit here thinking about a church that is structurally flawed, a church that does not show signs of an ability to heal itself, I have to truly believe that God has something in store for us. I think, as someone said, that it is important for us to line ourselves up with God's will for us -- we can create our lines to go anywhere we want. We can create our destinies, and sometimes those destinies will lead to wonderful things. But I have to believe that things work better when the destinies we create for ourselves are in accord and in accordance with God's will for us.
Serena Williams won like her 12th or 13th Wimbledon today. Very cool. I want arms like hers -- I actually think I may have arms like hers -- I can do 90-100 lbs tricep presses -- but there's still a layer of fat all over my body. Even though there is clearly some muscle development and definition underneath it, the fat cloaks my body and tends to hide all the progress I think I've made. After a loss of 100 lbs, I still have 37.1% body fat for a BMI of 31.1. 100 lbs of weight lost, and I still qualify as "obese" and still fall in line for the clinical requirements to have weight loss surgery. I'll need a BMI of 24.9 to get out of the "obese" category, or a weight loss of an additional 43 or so pounds. I'd be happy for the "overweight" BMI, anywhere from 25-27. So that's what I'm going to shoot for.
The issue of free will is worth bringing into the mix here. If we believe in free will, how then can we also accept that God has a master plan and has everything under control? I think the issue only presents itself when we think of time and existence in linear terms, or as each having some sort of exclusivity about it. I think the reality, that aspect of God to which refer as mystery, or omnipotence, or omniscience -- I think the reality may have to do with concepts of time and existence that are not bound by the constraints of the human mind -- I believe it is indeed possible that God may have a way or method of knowing that can involve having a master plan and can also allow for free will.
Imagine a circle. Now dra a line from any point on the circumference of the cirle to any other point in the interiro or on the circumference of the circle. This line represents the human experience of existence and the human experience of time. It starts at point a and goes to point b. Humans who are exceptionally gifted or who have supernatural abilities may even be able to see ahead of them from one point to another. Perhaps some humans could even see not just their own lines, but some other people's lines.
But if we get above the circle completely, then we have an idea of what God's view is -- God can see the whole circumference of the circle AND God can see everything inside the circle. So God can see human past, present and future, what humans are doing now, and what humans are likely to do in the future.
That's my general thought. Haven't worked it out completely. But as I sit here thinking about a church that is structurally flawed, a church that does not show signs of an ability to heal itself, I have to truly believe that God has something in store for us. I think, as someone said, that it is important for us to line ourselves up with God's will for us -- we can create our lines to go anywhere we want. We can create our destinies, and sometimes those destinies will lead to wonderful things. But I have to believe that things work better when the destinies we create for ourselves are in accord and in accordance with God's will for us.
Serena Williams won like her 12th or 13th Wimbledon today. Very cool. I want arms like hers -- I actually think I may have arms like hers -- I can do 90-100 lbs tricep presses -- but there's still a layer of fat all over my body. Even though there is clearly some muscle development and definition underneath it, the fat cloaks my body and tends to hide all the progress I think I've made. After a loss of 100 lbs, I still have 37.1% body fat for a BMI of 31.1. 100 lbs of weight lost, and I still qualify as "obese" and still fall in line for the clinical requirements to have weight loss surgery. I'll need a BMI of 24.9 to get out of the "obese" category, or a weight loss of an additional 43 or so pounds. I'd be happy for the "overweight" BMI, anywhere from 25-27. So that's what I'm going to shoot for.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Avatar; Bender?; Church
The first time I heard of this was when a friend posted on FB that she had tickets. Read a crappy review of it in AM New York, but since I generally find their reviews limited in scope, I didn't pay much attention to it. It's a holiday weekend, so my friend Amit and I decided we'd check it out.
What a disappointment. We went on 34th Street, and tix were like $17.00 each. No biggie; we're both single, employed and pretty good at managing our money (I think being a cheapskate is kinda cool and find I'm much more comfortable with people who tend to reign in their spending. I have most of the material things I want in life; what's the point in spending more money on more stuff?). The ticket prices would have been fine if it had been worth it. Neither one of us is terribly sophisticated, so when I can sit through a story line and go "why don't they just do X and end the movie?" or when we BOTH realize that half the plotline is missing, that indicates a problem. Still, geeks that we are, that would have been forgivable if the 3D in the movie had been half as good as the 3D in the trailers or in the studio branding. The 3D in the movie just wasn't that good.
Oh, well. We got to hang out for a coupla hours. Amit revealed his racism when we stopped at an Indian joint in Penn Station. He looked through the window and saw that all the servers were Hispanic and decided he didn't want to eat there. I told him he was being racist, but he said he wanted Indian food to be served by Indians.
On the way to Penn Station we passed by some guy in a shirt and tie, whose face was covered in blood and who was trying to make his tie into a tourniquet. We looked at him, and he had a bruise and cut above his left eye. Amit was among several people who offered him napkins, I told him to sit down, and a couple of people called 911. We couldn't tell if he was sober or not, there was no indication of what had happened to him, and we decided we didn't want to stay and gawk. Three teenagers were walking behind us as we entered Penn Station and told us their version of what happened. They said there had been a group of teens around the front of Penn Station. The injured man had been talking to the teenaged girls. The teenaged males had told him to stop. He started arguing with the males, and somehow ended up slapping one of the females. At that point, one or more of the males assaulted him; and elbow to the head apparently caused the wound. The teenagers talking to us thought it ironic that the man in the suit was seeming to be the victim; they viewed him as the instigator.
I've heard the results of our Episcopal Assignments, and they are as follows:
1st - Bishop Lawrence L. Reddick III
2nd - Bishop Sylvester Williams
3rd - Bishop Paul A.G. Stewart
4th - Bishop Thomas Brown
5th - Bishop W.E. Lockett
6th - Bishop Kenneth Carter
7th - Bishop Thomas Lanier Hoyt, Jr. - Senior Bishop of the CME Church
8th - Bishop Henry Williamson
9th - Bishop James Walker
10th - Bishop Godwin Umoette (West Africa and the Caribbean)
11th - Bishop Teresa Snorton (Central and South Africa)
What's interesting is that they went through all this stuff to create an 11th Episcopal district that segregated the Africans (they made these very bizarre and colonialist rules stating that the African indigenous bishop could not rotate into the States and could not be in line for Senior Bishop. They then created an 11th Episcopal district that cuts a wide swath through Central Africa (and is rumored to have 500,000 members)), and then they give that Episcopal District not only to someone who is not the indigenous African Bishop (they gave the indigenous African Bishop the region composed of a couple of West African countries and the Caribbean) -- not only is much of Africa not under the leadership of the indigenous African bishop, but it's under the leadership of a WOMAN! Ten years ago when we went to Ghana (which is not in Dr. Snorton's ED), we did some work on Women in Leadership in Ghana. While women are certainly in positions of leadership in Africa, it occurs to me that there, like many places in Christendom, the church suffers from its affinity with patriarchy. My impression is that the vestiges of patriarchy are still very strongly rooted in African Christendom, and I wonder how they'll react to a female presiding prelate? Already there is talk of a mass exodus of our African congregations over the snub relegating their Bishop to second-class status and over the election of a Bishop who is rumored not to be indigenous African so much as to be a dual passport holder. I wonder if the church is not setting Bishop Snorton up for failure? I don't know that all this information has been verified, but I just wonder....
I also need to talk a bit about the Avatar movie, about how this kid was thought to be the Savior of his race (an Avatar is something that represents something else; he has all these powers over the natural universe; there are evil people who know his divinity but who set out to do him harm; there's an instance of the moon turning red; there's all this stuff about supernatural powers and one person's place in the Master plan. We pay nearly $20.00 to see this, but try asking the average kid to pay $20.00 in church, and they'll balk. We need to look at that.
Just like we look at how we offer $100 million dollar contracts to guys who play a game for a living, but we have people who teach our children making salaries so low they qualify for public assistance. Both cases seem extreme to me, and I think we need to find a happy medium.
That's all for tonight.
What a disappointment. We went on 34th Street, and tix were like $17.00 each. No biggie; we're both single, employed and pretty good at managing our money (I think being a cheapskate is kinda cool and find I'm much more comfortable with people who tend to reign in their spending. I have most of the material things I want in life; what's the point in spending more money on more stuff?). The ticket prices would have been fine if it had been worth it. Neither one of us is terribly sophisticated, so when I can sit through a story line and go "why don't they just do X and end the movie?" or when we BOTH realize that half the plotline is missing, that indicates a problem. Still, geeks that we are, that would have been forgivable if the 3D in the movie had been half as good as the 3D in the trailers or in the studio branding. The 3D in the movie just wasn't that good.
Oh, well. We got to hang out for a coupla hours. Amit revealed his racism when we stopped at an Indian joint in Penn Station. He looked through the window and saw that all the servers were Hispanic and decided he didn't want to eat there. I told him he was being racist, but he said he wanted Indian food to be served by Indians.
On the way to Penn Station we passed by some guy in a shirt and tie, whose face was covered in blood and who was trying to make his tie into a tourniquet. We looked at him, and he had a bruise and cut above his left eye. Amit was among several people who offered him napkins, I told him to sit down, and a couple of people called 911. We couldn't tell if he was sober or not, there was no indication of what had happened to him, and we decided we didn't want to stay and gawk. Three teenagers were walking behind us as we entered Penn Station and told us their version of what happened. They said there had been a group of teens around the front of Penn Station. The injured man had been talking to the teenaged girls. The teenaged males had told him to stop. He started arguing with the males, and somehow ended up slapping one of the females. At that point, one or more of the males assaulted him; and elbow to the head apparently caused the wound. The teenagers talking to us thought it ironic that the man in the suit was seeming to be the victim; they viewed him as the instigator.
I've heard the results of our Episcopal Assignments, and they are as follows:
1st - Bishop Lawrence L. Reddick III
2nd - Bishop Sylvester Williams
3rd - Bishop Paul A.G. Stewart
4th - Bishop Thomas Brown
5th - Bishop W.E. Lockett
6th - Bishop Kenneth Carter
7th - Bishop Thomas Lanier Hoyt, Jr. - Senior Bishop of the CME Church
8th - Bishop Henry Williamson
9th - Bishop James Walker
10th - Bishop Godwin Umoette (West Africa and the Caribbean)
11th - Bishop Teresa Snorton (Central and South Africa)
What's interesting is that they went through all this stuff to create an 11th Episcopal district that segregated the Africans (they made these very bizarre and colonialist rules stating that the African indigenous bishop could not rotate into the States and could not be in line for Senior Bishop. They then created an 11th Episcopal district that cuts a wide swath through Central Africa (and is rumored to have 500,000 members)), and then they give that Episcopal District not only to someone who is not the indigenous African Bishop (they gave the indigenous African Bishop the region composed of a couple of West African countries and the Caribbean) -- not only is much of Africa not under the leadership of the indigenous African bishop, but it's under the leadership of a WOMAN! Ten years ago when we went to Ghana (which is not in Dr. Snorton's ED), we did some work on Women in Leadership in Ghana. While women are certainly in positions of leadership in Africa, it occurs to me that there, like many places in Christendom, the church suffers from its affinity with patriarchy. My impression is that the vestiges of patriarchy are still very strongly rooted in African Christendom, and I wonder how they'll react to a female presiding prelate? Already there is talk of a mass exodus of our African congregations over the snub relegating their Bishop to second-class status and over the election of a Bishop who is rumored not to be indigenous African so much as to be a dual passport holder. I wonder if the church is not setting Bishop Snorton up for failure? I don't know that all this information has been verified, but I just wonder....
I also need to talk a bit about the Avatar movie, about how this kid was thought to be the Savior of his race (an Avatar is something that represents something else; he has all these powers over the natural universe; there are evil people who know his divinity but who set out to do him harm; there's an instance of the moon turning red; there's all this stuff about supernatural powers and one person's place in the Master plan. We pay nearly $20.00 to see this, but try asking the average kid to pay $20.00 in church, and they'll balk. We need to look at that.
Just like we look at how we offer $100 million dollar contracts to guys who play a game for a living, but we have people who teach our children making salaries so low they qualify for public assistance. Both cases seem extreme to me, and I think we need to find a happy medium.
That's all for tonight.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Today is the day a number of professional basketball players become free agents. Everyone's all abuzz because LeBron James is now a free agent. Supposedly he's decided to go with chicago, but the Knicks and the Nets are said to be actively courting him. There's a campaign, "C'mon LeBron" that New Yorkers have to convince him to come to NYC. As much as I'd like to see him in a Knicks jersey (not Nets, because I think the new owner is a bit too weird. Interesting, but just a bit too weird) -- as much as I'd like to see LeBron in a Knicks jersey, if he were ever to have a bad day, I could see the fans going "C'mon, LeBron." Somehow, I don't think that would work. Also, the whole fairy dust thing, while it plays well in Cleveland, might not go over so well in MSG.
Ya know, I'm amazed at my church. Again, there often seems to be a disconnect between the things we say and the things we do. We preach equality, but we elect an indigenous African bishop who can only preside in Africa and whose rights, privileges, and salaries are less than those of the other bishops. Whether we intend to or ont, we're sending the message that Africans are somehow of a lesser status than other Christians. Aside from the irony that ours is an historically African-American church, there is also the irony that we profess to want to be a global church. This is our attempt at globalization?!?! By this kind of reckoning, what's the next step: appoint indigenous European bishops and give them twice the salary of African American bishops? What in the world were the people smoking when they came up with this idea?!?!?
Another thing I don't undersand about our church is how we can live in such a disconnect from the world around us. A good eighty percent of our membership is female, yet we have difficulty deciding if we want women to be among the bishops. It's as if, instead of being filled with a love for God and instead of being led by the Spirit of God, we have a church full of superstitious people who believe in a Zeus-like god and who live their lives trying not to anger the Zeus-like god so they can one day go and live with him. Huh???
that's not the kind of God I've come to know and love, it's not the kind of God who guides my feet and orders my life (when I listen). I know a God who causes me to ask the tough questions, One Who, even when my mind is set upon doing things my way, will cause a prick in my Spirit to make me remember His Way. I may or may not listen, but at least I feel the prick in my Spirit.
Which is why I have such a hard time with people who supposedly "love the Lord" and "want to do God's will" but who do things that smack of inequality, inequity, and injustice. Where is God in that mix?
The old saying is "God created Man in His Own Image and Man, being a gentleman, returned the favor."
Ya know, I'm amazed at my church. Again, there often seems to be a disconnect between the things we say and the things we do. We preach equality, but we elect an indigenous African bishop who can only preside in Africa and whose rights, privileges, and salaries are less than those of the other bishops. Whether we intend to or ont, we're sending the message that Africans are somehow of a lesser status than other Christians. Aside from the irony that ours is an historically African-American church, there is also the irony that we profess to want to be a global church. This is our attempt at globalization?!?! By this kind of reckoning, what's the next step: appoint indigenous European bishops and give them twice the salary of African American bishops? What in the world were the people smoking when they came up with this idea?!?!?
Another thing I don't undersand about our church is how we can live in such a disconnect from the world around us. A good eighty percent of our membership is female, yet we have difficulty deciding if we want women to be among the bishops. It's as if, instead of being filled with a love for God and instead of being led by the Spirit of God, we have a church full of superstitious people who believe in a Zeus-like god and who live their lives trying not to anger the Zeus-like god so they can one day go and live with him. Huh???
that's not the kind of God I've come to know and love, it's not the kind of God who guides my feet and orders my life (when I listen). I know a God who causes me to ask the tough questions, One Who, even when my mind is set upon doing things my way, will cause a prick in my Spirit to make me remember His Way. I may or may not listen, but at least I feel the prick in my Spirit.
Which is why I have such a hard time with people who supposedly "love the Lord" and "want to do God's will" but who do things that smack of inequality, inequity, and injustice. Where is God in that mix?
The old saying is "God created Man in His Own Image and Man, being a gentleman, returned the favor."